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syrena-del-mar · 8 days ago

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AlanJeff: What Love Looks Like in the Aftermath, Pitbabe S2, Ep. 10.

Let's talk about Alan and Jeff, because this week's episode has left me absolutely gutted. Since Season 1, I've been fascinated by the way they touch, so much so that I created a dedicated gifset to most intimate hand touchings. But something this whole season, it almost felt like the dynamic of their touches had shifted, even though I really couldn't put my finger on it. But this latest episode really made it apparent. Even though Alan slightly pushed Jeff, it felt emotionally seismic as if pointing to a change in their dynamic.

I've seen a lot of discourse on Alan's decisions. However, I generally disagree with the idea that it is out of character for Alan to become Tony's latest guinea pig. He made his decision because of who he is at his core, his responsibilities to the team, and the shifting dynamics of his relationship with Jeff.

Alan: The Center of Hunter X

Alan has always been someone who notices more than he lets on. From when when we first met him, back in Season 1, it was made clear that he was emotionally attuned to those closest to him. As the owner of Hunter X, while he wanted the best for his team, he cared much more for the people within it. He picked up on Way's crush on Babe before anyone else did and even tried to push him to go for it. Even Way hadn't been too much of a coward and had gone for it, that would have been dangerous for Hunter X, but he didn't care to consider that. Way was his best friend as well and he wanted the best for him; he understood him.

Similarly, when Kenta tried to buy out Alan in exchange for Babe, he didn't hesitate to deny the deal, even if that would have minimized his worries for the financials of Hunter X. He straight-up told Kenta that the only way Babe would go to the Red Team would be out of his own decision, not because Alan would sell him out. And when Alan mused to Jeff whether maybe it would have been better for Babe to go with the Red Team, before he knew fully of the childhood Babe endured, it wasn't because he was regretting not taking the money, but rather because he wondered if being with a well-funded team would give him stability.

However, in Season 1, it was Jeff that reminded him that everyone is staying on the team because of Alan. Looking back at it now, that same sentiment almost acts like a double-edged sword, because while it eased Alan's concern that he was doing wrong by his racers, it also mounted pressure on him. One that I don't think Jeff or Alan fully realized at the time.

Alan is Hunter X's leader, owner, and founder. That kind of responsibility weighs on him, and in some ways, it has become an integral part of his identity. And while Alan tries to protect everyone in the best way he can, he also sucks at asking for help. Between Season 1 and Season 2, this hasn't changed. And while Jeff's words had helped him back then, they also, unfortunately, tethered him directly to the idea that he had to keep everything together for the sake of everyone that he cared about. That he couldn't afford to fall apart.

Alan's Spiral Begins and Jeff's Intervention

And that's exactly where it all starts to come undone for Alan.

Because how can Alan protect those he loves when you line it all up? Dean leaving the team, Charlie dying, Babe unraveling, Charlie secretly being alive, Way attacking Babe, Way leaving the team, Way dying, Dean ending up in jail, Dean surviving when he was shot, Kim leaving Hunter X because he knows that he can never be number one in the team with Babe around, Dean asking to return to the team, Jeff secretly suffering as his powers worsened, Jeff getting hurt because of those same powers, Dean sacrificing himself for everyone in Hunter X... Alan is surrounded by the aftermath of choices in which he has no control over. And for someone like Alan, who is always the oldest, the fixer, the protector... that helplessness is devastating.

Jeff knows that about Alan. Jeff has been there to see the amount of pressure Alan puts on himself to keep everyone as safe as possible. Hell, even if Alan doesn't fully realize it, Jeff was saved, figuratively and literally, by him. Before Jeff met Alan, Jeff existed in isolation, not solely out of preference, but as a defense mechanism. Every child that came out of Tony's care had been conditioned to be a tool, valuable only as long as they were useful, discarded the moment they became inconvenient. Jeff had not been spared from Tony's method of upbringing. He knew the rules of Tony's system, so he made himself dispensable because with Tony, being discarded means freedom.

But for Jeff, freedom from Tony didn't mean that he had any actual peace. Not just because of the things Tony had him do but simply because of what his powers allowed him to see. Every touch, every connection, came with the risk of traveling to a future that he had no control over. So he cut himself off and kept people at an arm's length, not solely out of indifference but out of self-preservation.

And now, I'm not saying that Jeff/Alan's love story is one where true love heals all because it definitely didn't. They both struggled to understand each other at first, but Alan was persistent enough and willing to break down Jeff's barriers. Alan didn't force Jeff to connect, but instead, he invited him. He made space for Jeff in his life. He gave Jeff that option. There's real power in providing choices... in offering a choice rather than an ultimatum.

And for Jeff, who had only ever been treated as a tool and isolated himself, Alan gave him something rare: agency and affection. Alan made that risk feel worth it, because with Alan, Jeff was simply human. Not a weapon, not a tool, not an item to be auctioned to the richest bidder. With Alan, he was just Jeff, Alan's boy, and a damn good mechanic that Hunter X needed. Alan made Jeff feel like someone who was wanted for who he was, not for what he could do.

It's why Jeff tries, in his own way, to ease Alan's burden. So he didn't tell Alan his powers were worsening, didn't reveal just how bad it had gotten, because he didn't want Alan to feel responsible for the inevitable for his type of power. He saw how much pressure Alan was already under, how deeply Alan blamed himself for every fracture in the team, and how Alan's injury was taking a toll on him. So, Jeff tries and tries to ease that burden, keeping his own situation a secret and trying to help him move on with Dean. However, it's the last thing that Alan seems capable of doing... moving on and burying another person he cares for.

When Dean disappears after the explosion, it's like something within Alan just snaps. For Alan, it's just another sign that he's not enough to protect the people that he cares about. He refuses to stop searching for Dean's body and refuses to acknowledge what everyone is thinking because admitting that Dean is dead would be another failure. Another person that he couldn't save. For Alan, searching is almost his penance of sorts to Dean for letting him sacrifice himself for the safety of the team.

And Jeff sees the downward spiral Alan is venturing into. Jeff suggests Dean's burial not because he wanted to force Alan to find some closure, but rather, he was trying to ease Alan's suffering by offering to give him anything that could ground him.

The issue is that Alan didn't take it that way.

Alan's Breaking Point

Intentions versus perception is one hell of a thing. And while Jeff intended to ground Alan, Alan only heard that Jeff was telling him to give up. Finality. And Alan, who was clinging to the hope that Dean would not be another person that he lost and failed to save, lashed out. He literally pushed Jeff away, not out of cruelty, but out of anger and pain towards his own perceived failure.

But the thing is that, amid his spiraling, he lashes out at Jeff. Jeff, who had spent years building walls to survive, was only starting to become accustomed to being loved without condition, without being perfect, right, or useful. And Alan pushes Jeff away for suggesting a burial... It's not just a disagreement but a rejection of Jeff's attempt to comfort him. To love and care for Alan in the only way he knows how, by being painfully realistic. By preparing Alan gently for the blow he can't stop.

However, after everything Alan has gone through—and everything he has lost—he doesn't see it as comfort. Instead, they land as confirmation of his worst fear: The Dean is gone. That he failed to protect the people he cared about again. To Alan, the burial would only prove to him his own ineptitude. To stop searching, stop hoping, stop believing that he could have saved Dean because he's not enough. And while he feels guilty about Dean and failing to protect him, he also feels worse thinking that he wouldn't be able to protect those that he loves.

Especially Jeff.

Because Jeff isn't just someone that he loves. Jeff is the one person that Alan wants to protect, to keep close, safe, and whole. And, to Alan, if his failure is still unfolding, he likely fears that Jeff might be the one to pay for it next. Because if he can't find and protect Dean, then he can't protect those that he deems important to him, and Jeff might be the next one to pay.

Jeff's Silence

But for Jeff, that moment also seems to cut along scars that he never allowed to fully heal. Even though Jeff has opened up in the few years he has been with Alan, he had spent many more years closing down and hiding from others. Jeff, for a greater part of his life, was not used to being wanted when he was vulnerable. Again, he grew up in an environment where there was no love given to the children, just a value number. And Alan's anger feels like rejection.

Jeff doesn't yell back. He doesn't respond. He doesn't demand Alan to apologize. He just goes quiet and shuts down.

Because silence is what has always protected him and kept him safe for all those years under Tony's control. Silence meant survival. And for a moment, it returns like muscle memory.

Jeff retreats into that old armor because somewhere deep down, he already believes that he's messed up. He's still carrying the weight of keeping the status of his powers a secret from Alan, which had resulted in him being frozen out.

And now, with Alan lashing out, showing Jeff a kind of anger that Jeff had never seen directed at him, all Jeff can do is freeze. Withdraw. Makes himself smaller. Because at least if he says nothing, he can't make it worse. At least if he stayed silent, Alan would never look at him like that again.

At least his silence won't lead to his disappointment.

Alan's Desperation

And in the aftermath, Alan is fully disappointed in himself. The guilt, helplessness, and his crushing sense of not being enough settle into something dangerous and desperate. Not only that, but Winner hits the one cord that he knows will make Alan compliant. Winner purposefully mentions that if Tony gets Charlie's blood, he'll leave the Hunter X team alone.

So he goes to Tony. Not out of trust. But it was the most brutal form of self-sacrifice.

Alan doesn't go to Tony because he believes in him or because he naively thinks that it will all turn out okay. This isn't really about his injury. It all boils down to his belief that he can't protect the people he loves in his current state. So, he has to become someone else, even if that means striking a deal with the devil.

Because he's tired. Tired of being the one left in the aftermath, unable to stop it, and unable to save them.

While Charlie, Jeff, Babe, and all the others are trying to shed their powers, attempting to reclaim normalcy and escape the pain that comes with being used and chosen against their will, Alan still sees power.

And so he lets himself become the guinea pig, Tony's new experiment willing to fulfill his demands in exchange for the safety of his team, the very people he cares about the most. So that he doesn't get left behind again. So that nobody else has to suffer.

Tragedy of Love and Miscommunication

Like in any relationship, communication is key, and this rings true for Alan and Jeff. It's not that they love each other any less. If anything, it's the complete opposite. They love each other so much that they both fall into the trap of trying to protect rather than trying to communicate with each other. However, you can't truly protect someone when you can't be fully honest with them. You can't shield each other from pain and harm if you're unwilling to share the burden.

And that applies not only to his relationship with Jeff, but also to his relationship with everyone that he loves.

From the first moment we met Alan, he has consistently shown that he would willingly sacrifice himself for those he cares about.

Alan thinks he's protecting Jeff and the ones that he loves by carrying all his worries alone. By secretly sacrificing himself for their sake. But love that hides too much becomes a love that only hurts. Protection without communication only serves to breed misunderstanding. And in their silence, they stop seeing each other clearly.

And the tragedy is that they're all trying to love each other in the best way they know how.

They just haven't realized that love isn't meant for each of them to be carrying the burden of their worries alone.

But rather, it's about carrying it together.

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tr4gictea · 11 months ago

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True Meaning: Act I, Part 1

Isekai teen!reader + Genshin Impact

❥Masterlist

Tags: none

Including: Itto and his gang :D

word count: 904 words

Pervious | Next

True Meaning Table of Content ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

Yesterday you woke up in a forest all alone. You soon realized that you were in the land of Inazuma. A fictional place in the world of Genshin Impact, a game you had been playing for years. You assumed you were dreaming and went to check out the stores and even got to a statue of seven which granted you electro powers. You soon fell asleep, thinking that the dream would end after you fell asleep.

But, for some reason you were still asleep in this forest with four men standing over you talking in a hushed tone.

"...I don't know, are they dead?" "No you idiot, they're still breathing!" "Guys no fighting right now we have to..."

You stirred awake from your slumber stretching out your arms as you sat up. The presence of the four men behind you go unnoticed.

You look in front of you to see the same scenery you fell asleep to. What is going on? I should have woken up after I fell asleep! Maybe I need to pinch myself to wake up? You pinch yourself but nothing happens. Why didn't anything happen? Maybe I need to do it harder. You pinch yourself again. Still nothing.

Wait so if this isn't a dream then I'm stuck in the genshin im-

"Hey there," A man's voice speaks from right next to your head.

"AH!" You yelp and jump forward, creating distance between you and the voice. When you look to see who spoke to you, the sight of four men, wearing a kasa hat except for the other one who had red horns on his head. Wait. No. That's Arritaki Itto!

"Woah!" He puts his hands up "Didn't mean to scare you like that little bro,"

"I-i, um I-," You were trying to find the words to speak but they all fell into studders. How can you be in the genshin world?! This is insane!

"You're speechless I can see," He says proudly, "Of course everyone, no matter who they are, always are emamoured by the presence of the Arritaki Itto!"

"Uh, I-."

"We were just walking by when we happened to see you on the ground and we thought you had gotten attacked or something, so we came to check on you. Say, where are your parents? You don't look like you come from here and you can get lost pretty easily."

"I, um," Quick (Y/n) think of something, you can't tell them you're not from this world! "I am a traveling student, from the uh, Akademiya."

"Nuh uh, you don't look like you're old enough to be one." One of the other members behind Itto questions. "And besides the borders closed six months ago."

"Yuh uh, I came here six months ago before the borders closed to do research and got stuck after the sakoku decree was placed." You feel bad for lying to them but that's all you can do right now because you can't tell them the truth. "And yes I am a student, I just skipped a couple grades."

"Oh yeah? Then what’s nine times eight?" Another gang member asked rasing his eyebrow at you.

"72."

"Wrong! Ha! I knew you weren't a student!" He says, crossing his arms and shooting his nose up in victory.

"What? No dude, they're right, it's 72." The gang member next to him says.

"Wait what?" He looks at his other gang members in surprise and they all nod back at him. "Oh no, I owe a lot more mora to that merchant than I thought..."

"Uh, anyways why are you sleeping out here?" Itto redirects the conversation back to you.

"I ran out of mora and can't afford a place to sleep." Which is half true.

"You ran out of mora?! Doesn't that fancy school pay for everything?"

"Yeah but um, they can't get the mora to me because of um, the borders being closed and all."

"Oh yeah, right. That Radien Shogun is causing trouble for everyone with the sakoku decree and the vision hunt." Itto grumbles. "Ya' know what? If I ever get the chance, I'll fight the Shogun for all of Inazuma's visions."

Speaking of the vision hunt decree you still had your necklace which had your elemental energy stored in it. You remember how the Raiden Shogun had tried to murder travelers over being an “exception” and something tells you that you'd be counted on that list too. It would be safer if you didn't use your elemental power at all.

“Since you don’t have any money, I’m feeling nice today so, I will offer you the chance to dine with THE Arittaki Itto!” He said shouting the ‘the’.

“So, like free lunch? Cause I’m out of mora right now.”

“Of course the Arritaki Gang™ can always help out!” He proudly announced. “We are a very successful gang after all!”

“Um boss,-” One of the other gang members tried to say something but Itto cut them off.

“Not right now Akira.” He said waving him off. “So what do you say kid?” He reached out his hand to you.

Was this the right thing to do? I just got transported to a video game, will going with Itto be the right choice? Did I make a mistake lying to him? Am I on the right path?Your hand meets Itto’s with a hard smack and Itto pulls you up to your feet. “Let’s go,”

More Genshin Impact Stories *ੈ✩‧₊˚

True Meaning Table of Content ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

#genshin impact #genshin x teen reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin x gn reader #platonic genshin x reader #genshin x child reader #platonic #itto x reader #itto x teen reader #genshin isekai #genshin sagau #isekai #sagau #True meaning

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m-inntii · 3 months ago

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hugo vlad analysis!

Spoilers for 1.7. + Hugo story leaks [TW: mentions/depiction of abuse, violence]

(Sorta evolved into less of an analysis and more a look into how Hugo’s mindset can be)

Oh Hugo Vlad...

Hugo has been beaten down again and again by the Mihoyo gods, honestly it's a miracle he hasn't become batshit insane

Hugo had grown to believe everything about him was wrong, to hate everything about him, by everyone, including his mother, father and even his own mentor (though only one rly meant well…)

His mother

Hugo's mother only gave birth to him because she thought she could get into the Ravenlocke family easily, which already sets in stone since the start for Hugo that his only purpose was to help his mom to get into the family and that ye meant nothing to her

And when he "failed" at his "purpose", he was regularly shamed for his looks and told his entire life was a mistake. He then gets sold off, which reemphasises the fact that to his mother he is just a “thing” to help her become rich. She made him hate his looks, and especially his heterochromia.

2. The family

The family also hated him, and literally tried to kill him multiple times. Only one person treated him nicely, and Serena ended up being killed because she treated him so nicely, which ended up with him blaming himself for her death, which continues the idea that his existence was a mistake.

They made him hate the fact he was an illegitimate child and that he accepted Serena’s kindness.

3. His father

His father then turns this into a opportunity to manipulate the others into thinking that they must be willing to kill their loved ones to reach the top, to survive.

This gives Hugo and the other kids the mindset that loving others is weak. As Lycaon says, Hugo desperately wants to care for people and have people care for him, but he pushes everyone away. With how he was raised, he believed that loving others is “weak”, that you can’t love others and need to be willing to throw away any relationship you have to make it to the top.

It creates an endless cycle of constant want to have someone care about him and to care for others, but refusing to give himself that, because that’s a “luxury” he can’t afford.

4. His mentor (Jack)

His mentor had accepted him. He didn’t see Hugo’s life as something wrong, or view him as jsut an object for his use. He actively taught Lycaon and Hugo how to live, and it seems great going

Then he overhears Jack and Lycaon’s conversation. Jack believes that Hugo will go down the wrong path, and that when that happens Lycaon needs to be the one to end him.

Even his own mentor believed that there was something wrong with Hugo.

And yet, Hugo believed him. He thought he was right. He really did believe that he was going to end up on the wrong path. But that didn’t matter. He couldn’t do anything about it, so forget it.

5. Mockingbird

Before 1.7, Hugo thought Mocking Bird was…pointless. Mockingbird never helped anyone. It could even be said all it did was bring more harm.

Hugo believed it was just Mocking Bird against the world. No one else was going to step up, so they needed to be the ones to face the injustice against the world

He eventually realised though- Mocking Bird was never going to find a way to help anyone. It was just a stupid dream of his.

6. Lycaon (Lycahugo fans you shall now receive your dinner)

Lycaon had also accepted Hugo. Although he never truly agree ded with his morals, he did see Hugo as a person, not a thing, much like Jack.

Hugo even formed mocking bird with him- he wanted to be able to help more people with him. He was the only one who Hugo could trust. No one else but him was going to help him defeat the injustice in this world.

(Slight deviation) Hugo wanted to kill his father, but his hesitance and failure to do so allowed his siblings to be killed by his uncle. To Hugo, he was at fault for his siblings death. He was the one to kill his siblings.

Lycaon lost his legs and eye in this incident. The incident that Hugo believes was his fault for happening. Lycaon losing his leg and eyes is his fault.

Lycaon misconceptions Hugo’s morals, and believed that Hugo was the one to kill all those in the room. And while he technically didn’t, Hugo never fought back, because he believed Lycaon was right.

Lycaon didn’t agree with his morals, and tried to get Hugo to change his, but he still refused. He believed Lycaon didn’t truly understand what the world was like, and believed that there will come a day where he needs to take the life of someone for the better.

Even Lycaon didn’t truly understand Hugo. Just like everyone else, Lycaon too thought that there was something wrong with him.

(i’m sorry if Lycaon’s section feels clunky i really struggle to write abt them.)

7. Vivian

Like Hugo said, Vivian is like a sister to him. But it probably is more then just her reminding him of Serena.

Both of them have been actively discriminated against for things out of their control, and believed that they were the bringers of misfortune. They can both relate to each other and understand each other’s struggle, and thus be the only ones willing to accept the other

NOW. The events of 1.7

I’m not gonna talk about his plan and stuff since I am 1. way too small brained. 2. I don’t remember ZZZ lore LMAO. anyway continuing on

So before I talk about the drug trip imma say some stuff rq-

The events of 1.7 really show us that Hugo is in actually, a really great guy. He helps save a ton of people from the schemes of the family, stops/destorys the family and their reputation, tries to fulfill Vivian’s wishes, and chooses to drug himself to find an antidote to help those affected. He purposely fakes his death jsut so those he cares about doesn’t get affected

1.7 also show Hugo is honestly incredibly strong mentally. Despite being beaten down again and again by life, he still wants to fight against injustice and actively helps people despite so many having harmed him. And in general, he learns to overcome quite a few of his internal struggles (including how he and mockingbrid have in actuality, helped a ton of people.) There’s also another point i’ll get to later.

OKAY TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE DRUG TRIP

During the drug trip, Hugo ends up facing… a LOT of things.

Including facing his inner thoguht- That deep down, he is mad, he is angry, and he wants revenge against those who hurt him. Hugo desperately wants to reject and deny that fact, and tries time and time again to convince himself that “it’s no point worrying about” or “i’ve moved passed it already”. By the end though, he realises that he can’t deny it anymore, otherwise it’ll just continue to eat at him and he has to try harder to pretend otherwise.

Which is another show of his mental strength- he learns to accept that angry upset and mad part of him, but also learns to move past trying to get revenge. He’ll stick to his morals and the path he’s chosen (even if it’ll hurt him), but he’s given on revenge because he doesn’t want to be consumed by it. He doesn’t want to become like his father, his mother, or any of those who harmed him because they were upset at him.

He also comes to face few other things, but I don’t think he’s yet to overcome these- which includes his self blame issues. He doesn’t seem to learn to move past his “mistakes” in a way. He still blames himself for Serena’s death, for his mother’s

And for my Lycahugo shippers- Noticably, Lycaon is the only one Hugo realises is just an illusion. Even with Serena, someone who always treated him nicely and death wasn’t even his fault, he still couldn’t distinguish the fact she was an illusion because he truly believed he was the blame for her death and that she would hate him for it.

but Lycaon? He could tell he was just an illusion. He knows that Lycaon would never speak to him like that. Lycaon would never compare Hugo to someone like his father.

He comes out of the drug trip, completes his plan, effectively ends the Ravenlocke family, and reconciles with Lycaon, in which he decided he wants to stick to his path and choices even if it’ll hurt him, and lets Lycaon do the same.

OOH boy, this was a LONG one lol… I believe Hugo’s story was done really well. I love the fact he learns to move past his hatred, but he’s probably still yet to fully recover from the effects of his past. It’ll most likely take a long while before Hugo learns to let himself care for others and let others care for him, considering he followed the mindset for a very long time. My apologies if a lot of this was jsut retelling of events lol, analysis psor always end up very messy -v-

Turning off analysis mode, i’d like to mention this line

Hugo has blamed himself for hurting those around him for so long (even when it wasn’t his fault). He clearly blamed himself for the loss of Lycaon’s eye and legs cause otherwise Lycaon wouldn’t have responded like this.

To have even ONE person who he believed he had hurt, tell him IN PERSON, that “It wasn’t your fault”, that it “was just an accident” probably means a LOT to him. Lycaon telling him he wasn’t to blame and tells him he’s doing okay- to know that there’s even one person who doesn’t blame him, and in fact isn’t affected by his actions anymore, is probably a lot to him.

anyway can’t get over how much Lycaon was checking on Hugo during the quest. most likely a lycahugo analysis post if i feel like it lol :P. I’m still going insane over that “don’t die you stupid bastard..” like. who else is gonna somehow get a man who is known for how sophisticated he is and how calm he always remains to swear (sorta. is bastard a swear lol?) but Hugo and his self-harming tendencies

#zzz #zenless zone zero #zzzero #hugo #hugo vlad #hugo zzz #lycaon #lycaon zzz #von lycaon #lycahugo #crownwolf #analysis #character analysis #zzz 1.7 #zzz spoilers #Thid was a LOGN analysis lol…#it took me an entire day to make this #whatervrr most likely gonna make a lycahugo analysis post eventually cuz they won’t get out of my head

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forest-hashira · 1 year ago

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Butterflies

i have no chill so yes i'm back with a new fic a week after the last one. idk how or why i'm like this so don't ask. this is my second entry for @threadbaresweater's "summertime (and the livin' is easy)" collab event! my chosen prompt for this one was geto + botanical gardens. this got away from me literally in the first sentence AHAHA.

read on ao3 | wc: ~1.8k | cw: gender neutral reader, first date, minor miscommunication, both suguru and reader are bashful as hell and have been crushing for a while, several types of bugs are mentioned towards the end, but i think that's everything!

When Suguru had invited you to visit the local botanical gardens with him, you’d accepted without much thought, assuming that all your other friends would be there, too. You’d all spent nearly every waking moment together since the weather had gotten warm enough and the days had gotten long enough to spend more time outside, so it seemed like a foregone conclusion that this was going to be another one of those days.

You were quite mistaken.

Suguru was standing alone outside the front gates waiting for you, and while he was usually the first person to arrive whenever you all got together, Shoko, Utahime, or Kento usually weren’t far behind and consistently arrived before you did, so you were a bit surprised.

“Is everyone else on their way?” you asked as you approached, one hand above your brows to block the sun from your eyes as you looked up at him; you’d forgotten your sunglasses, again, something Satoru teased you about constantly. Even with the small amount of shade your hand afforded you, you squinted a bit up at your friend. His hair was pulled fully up into a bun, a hairstyle he didn’t wear as frequently as he did when you were all in high school, but with a heatwave rolling through the area, you weren’t exactly surprised he wanted all that hair off his skin.

After a moment you realized the sun was creating a sort of halo around him. Like an angel, you thought to yourself. He’s certainly pretty enough to be one. The thought caught you off guard, and you hoped it wasn’t obvious that you’d grown flustered by your own thoughts; you didn’t need him finding out about the crush you’d been harboring on him since you were teenagers, especially when no one else was there to save you from yourself.

His brows pinched in confusion, and he cocked his head ever so slightly to the right. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“Satoru and Shoko and everyone,” you said, now feeling a bit confused yourself. “Are they just running late? Usually at least Kento is waiting with you by the time I show up.”

A look of understanding crossed his face then, and his face visibly reddened. “Ah,” he sighed, looking away from you and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s uh. It’s just us, actually. Sorry, I thought you knew that when you accepted the invitation.”

“...Oh,” you uttered intelligently, feeling your own face beginning to heat as well, and not just from the sun beating down on you. It never occurred to you that Suguru would want to spend any alone time with you, away from the group; not that you didn’t get along without everyone else – you definitely did, you were just usually around the rest of your friend group – but the occasion for one on one time hadn’t arisen since you’d been partnered for assignments in school.

“We don’t have to go in,” Suguru offered gently, meeting your gaze again. “We can pretend this never happened. Or we can see if anyone else wants to join, I know Satoru’s not doing anything today.” When all you did was blink dumbly up at him, he looked away again, staring down at his feet. “I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

That brought you back to yourself, and you shook your head vehemently. “No!” you burst out, then cringed at your own raised volume and squeaky voice. “I-I mean, no, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. We can still go in. I looked this place up when you invited me, and I really want to see their pollinator sanctuary.”

Suguru’s shoulders dropped in relief at your words, and his small smile returned almost instantly. “I’d like that.”

As he turned and headed towards the gates, you followed barely a half step behind. You started to pull out your wallet as you drew closer to the ticket booth, but Suguru stopped you.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told you. “I bought our tickets already.”

His words had your face burning yet again, and you looked away sheepishly. “Thanks.” You followed him up to the gates, pausing long enough for the gate attendant to scan the tickets Suguru had bought – he’d printed them out, so the employee didn’t have to try and scan his phone screen, which struck as so distinctly Suguru that it made your heart flutter, though you’d never admit that to another human being.

Tickets now scanned, the pair of you were free to explore the grounds at your own pace. Ever the planner, your friend led you over to the large standing map. “Do you want to start with the pollinators?” he asked. “Or would you rather save that for the grand finale?”

Taking a few moments to consider, you looked over the map; the grounds were bigger than you thought, and you knew with the sun beating down on you, it wouldn’t be long before you were tired of the heat and ready to go somewhere with cold drinks and air conditioning. “Let’s do that first,” you said after a bit. “I don’t wanna run the risk of missing them because they’re hiding from the heat.”

Suguru nodded easily in agreement with your words. “I think that sounds like a good idea,” he confirmed. When he reached up and started tracing a path on the map from the “YOU ARE HERE” sticker to the pollinator sanctuary, you couldn’t help but watch, his hand making the sections of the map look smaller than they actually were.

“It looks like we need to go this way,” he said quietly, and though you couldn’t quite tell if he was speaking to you or just thinking aloud, his words were enough to bring you back to yourself. “The pollinators are near the back, but this section with the trees should be pretty shaded for the walk back. What do you think?”

He turned to face you then, head tilted ever so slightly as he waited to hear your answer, oblivious to the way you’d been ogling his hand. You blinked dumbly for a moment, processing his words as you did your best not to make a fool of yourself.

“That sounds good, yeah,” you agreed sheepishly. “This way, right?”

When he nodded, you turned and made your way down the path, Suguru at your side. He was right, the path he’d chosen was pretty well shaded from the sun, offering you a bit of relief as you walked. The pace you maintained was steady; you weren’t rushing by any means, but you were eager to see the pollinator sanctuary, so you were walking a little faster than you normally might have.

Birds chirped overhead, singing to each other as they hopped from branch to branch, and the sound made you smile; summer wasn’t necessarily your favorite of the seasons, but right now the pros were definitely outweighing the cons.

“Thank you,” the raven haired man said after a few minutes of comfortable silence, and you looked up at him in slight confusion.

“For what?”

“For agreeing to come here with me,” he said simply. Then, looking a little bashful again, he added, “And for not freaking out on me when I told you it was just us after you got here.”

“Oh,” you said quietly. “I was happy to accept your invitation. And I’d never freak out on you for something like that, y’know. You’re easy to be around, and if nobody else is here it means I actually get to appreciate your presence.”

“You make a good point. Satoru does tend to demand to be the center of attention when we’re all together, doesn’t he?” A soft smile painted his lips as he spoke, and his words made you giggle a bit.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “He does.”

Conversation was easy after that, talking about everything and nothing all at the same time, but it felt so good to talk with him; to spend time with him without anyone else around, something you rarely got to do, and never felt like you could suggest yourself until now. Now, though, you were sure you’d be spending a lot more one on one time with your companion.

“Oh, what was it that Satoru was trying to explain the other day? He kept comparing it to digi…mon…” you trailed off mid sentence as you stepped out from under the trees, completely forgetting what you’d been saying as you saw the pollinator sanctuary unfolding before you. Your steps slowed, and you looked around with wide eyes, taking in the sight of all the insects flitting between the brightly colored flowers: the honey bees climbing out of blooms covered in pollen; hummingbird moths hovering as they sipped before zipping to the next flower; bumblebees droning through the air; butterflies flitting from plant to plant.

Suguru slowed to keep pace beside you, and unbeknownst to you, he was looking at you far more intently than anything else in the garden. He paused for a moment, letting you walk a bit ahead of him as he admired you. As he watched, a few butterflies flew closer, dancing around your head as they came to investigate the scent of your shampoo. You stilled, though your eyes were wide as you tried to watch what was happening above you. One by one, about half a dozen butterflies landed in your hair, almost forming a crown around your head, making you look like some sort of nature spirit.

“You’re beautiful,” Suguru blurted out, and the sudden compliment startled you a bit. You turned back to face him quickly enough that all the butterflies went fluttering off again, now that they knew you were not, in fact, a flower.

“Huh?”

“You’re beautiful,” he repeated, though a bit more bashfully this time. “I’ve always thought that, y’know? I just didn’t want to make things weird between us by telling you that.” He closed the distance between you as he spoke, and he offered you a sheepish little smile. “I hope it’s okay that I’m telling you now, though.”

“Yeah,” you murmured back, smiling just as bashfully in return. “That’s more than okay. You’re beautiful, too, actually. I’ve always thought that.”

A small laugh bubbled out of Suguru at your words, and his expression grew impossibly more fond. “I’m glad we’re on the same page about that, then,” he mused. He was quiet for a moment then, his dark eyes contemplative, before he leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek.

The touch surprised you, but it wasn’t unwelcome. You felt your face burn a bit more as he pulled away, but your smile only brightened as you looked up at him.

He smiled back just as brightly, and as he spoke again, he took your hand and laced your fingers together gently. “Do you want to keep going?” “Yes, I’d like that very much.”

taglist: @mitsuristoleme @kentohours @peachdues @ghost-1-y @witchbybirth

@marinnnnnnnnn @dr-runs-with-scissors @enchantedforest-network

divider by saradika-graphics

#fallon's fics #geto jjk #jjk geto #suguru geto #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #jjk fluff #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk

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couldawouldashoulda50 · 3 months ago

Note

Happy birthday to our sweet Willy! 💙💛 Playoffs and Game 6? What a day to be alive! 😍

You’re probably getting a few of these today, but I can’t help myself — how do you think William and Loren would celebrate his birthday? Not necessarily on a game 6 day, but just in general… what would their celebration look like? 😘

I have to start by saying a big mwah to you - you are such a trooper...running marathons and trying to catch glimpses of the playoff games when you're 6 hours ahead. Today is a pretty crucial day (just the way I feel) so I'm wishing William (and the team) lots of rest, meditation, and positive vibes for this game day. They can do this.

But yes, May 1....William Nylander day in our minds since we fell for him years ago.

For Loren, she is going to be in full worship mode. Not in a subservient way—unless he asks and she’s in the mood. Afterall, it’s his birthday. Nothing’s off the table today 😉 Her mindset is more about wanting to create some peace and stillness in his world for a few hours - to let him really decompress and then fill him up so to speak.

In terms of pleasure, Loren has discovered two truths...the way to his heart is through his stomach and his zipper equally....not necessarily in that order.

She starts his day with the greatest hits of the most relaxed and playful sex...she reads him well and knows what makes his toe curl and melt at the same time. A quick cleanup - then they tend to the dogs together...a nice walk along a nearby park with ravines and mature trees.

He's had his micronutrients already before the walk, so the macronutrients come in the form of a huge breakfast. Everything from eggs to smoked salmon to avocado toast - he and Alex fucking love their food and they smash back all of it.

William can buy whatever he wants, so Loren tries to hone in on experience gifts rather than material ones. After breakfast, William and Alex sink into the couch for a video game bloodbath — no hockey highlights allowed. Just something gory and ridiculous to make them yell and chirp and unwind. Just after noon, she's arranged for an inhouse Swedish Massage for the three of them. Loren always makes space for Alex (and the massage was something she could afford to do for all of them) - he's just become part of the rhythm of their relationship in most aspects - just not the bedroom. Alex and Loren have grown very fond of each other over the past season (although she silently disagrees with him...A LOT...which William finds pretty fucking amusing)

Post massage - nap time is absolutely imperative. Loren gives Alex her best doe-eyes to have him take the dogs out for a quick walk while William crawls in bed with her following shortly after. 3+ hours later....every part of him is awake and he's ravishing Loren. Let's just say he's showing her how great of a day she's given him so far. But there's more. Loren has arranged for the chef that appeared on the Three Courses episode to come to the condo and cook a massive spread of all the Swedish favourites for him and his close circle of friends and teammates. After everyone has left, the condo's clean, the dogs have been walked...William feels exactly what Loren had hoped he would. Happy. Relaxed. Full.

But there's one last thing she has for him. She tells him he doesn't have to wear them but whenever she sees Emerald (his birthstone) in jewelry, she wants to get him something but fears it might not be his taste. But in her travels, she saw these small diamond crusted hoop earrings with a tiny emerald that she thought he might like. He didn't though. He loved them, almost as much as he loved her.

I'm so sorry for the sappy ending lol!!!!!! Got a little carried away.

Thank you my sweet for the ask. Here’s hoping Game 6 goes down like Loren did this morning… skillfully, confidently, and with an outcome that makes you want to celebrate.

Happy William's Birthday day to all who celebrate this man. Here's small wall of gifs and photos of him for your viewing pleasure.

GLG 💙🤍

#william nylander #william x loren #willy nylander #my moots #misshoneyimhome asks

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andrealvsbooks · 9 months ago

Text

Until I Found You

“We both knew that this marriage was only on paper and the birth of Xaden is the same for me, just an obligation. I can't love a child who only reminds me of 10 ten years of lack of freedom. I must go and be happy, with the man I love and the baby I carry in my womb from him." - Recovered Correspondence to Fen Riorson from his ex-wife, Eleanor Winters. Shortly after Xaden saves Violet from torture and many cadets go to Aretia, Xaden arrives at a village razed by the Venin and discovers a girl who looks like her mother in the rubble.

English isn’t my first language, so if you see any mistakes or things that look weird please tell me so I can fix them.

Tag list: @honethatty12

Chapter 2

If Xaden had learned anything long ago, it was to compartmentalise pain, no matter how much pain he felt, he should never let it be exposed, he should always keep it in little mental drawers and hide it from the world for as long as possible, praying to Dunne that he would never collapse. It was his greatest lesson since the day Navarre ended most of his family, his life in general. The pain became something he had to leave in the background, as he watched his father being executed, as the relic of the rebellion appeared in him.

So as he dismounts from Sgaeyl to survey the rubble of another village in one of the Poromish provinces, Krovla, his face is expressionless, though inside he feels only rage and pain. He can't bear to watch every week as a village falls, as civilians die, as everything seems a premonition of what the final fate is, though no one says it out loud. But he is a leader for a reason, so he must never waver or show his hopeless thoughts.

-Check if there are any survivors and if there is any unusual damage. Emery, take charge of making the report to the -he orders.

-We're bloody late -said Mira Sorrengail.

Everyone scatters through the village, amidst corpses and debris, all the bodies had been drained as usual. However, Xaden becomes alert when he notices how few people seem to live in the village.

-Why the hell attack this town? It's almost non-existent, a few miles away there are far more beneficial ones -Garrick says with the same line of thought as his friend.

-Maybe because their final destination is this way and they want us to know -he says, avoiding looking at the face of a murdered girl.

-Don't think I haven't thought about them addressing Aretia, but it doesn't make sense for them to be so undisguised.

-They know they are at an advantage of us in weapons and army, they can afford to mock us -he said bitterly.

-We're screwed -mutters Garrick.

-Too much.

-----------------

-Hey, there's a live girl here! -Heaton shouts in the distance.

They rushed there in deep surprise, definitely not expecting to find survivors, let alone a girl, the search for civilians was a routine action for which there was little hope. The venin never left anyone alive.

When they reached the girl, the whole platoon was gathered together without approaching the girl, with hesitant expressions.

-What's going on? -asked Garrick.

-Look for yourselves -said Sorrengail.

Surrounding them was an unconscious girl wrapped in a kind of sphere created from golden dust, which seemed to come from some kind of stone she wore in a small pendant around her neck.

-Maybe it's a rune -suggests Sorrengail.

-Impossible, the runes have another shape, this looks like a simple stone -Emery contradicts her.

-Xaden... this girl looks like... -Garrick whispers, paralysed.

Xaden doesn't answer, just stares at the girl while his hands start shaking uncontrollably.

-Remember to breathe -Sgaeyl tells her in the softest voice she can muster.

Without being able to help himself, he began to move his hand closer to the sphere.

-Xaden, be careful -says Garrick.

Surprisingly, Xaden, unlike the others, was able to touch the sphere without being expelled backwards, it was as if that strange magic recognized him, so much so that when he touched the girl's face he felt a caress on the arm he had inside the sphere before they disappeared. In one of the girl's closed hands, Xaden noticed that she was carrying a small blanket, he gently removed it from her hand and inspected it.

That malek will take him away soon because this blanket was identical to the one his mother made for him while she was pregnant and that he had stored in his closet.

-What are we going to do? She is the only survivor and it wouldn't hurt for her to be seen by a healer even if she has no wounds -Sorrengail asks.

-I guess we'll have to look in another town for a family to take care of her -says Heaton.

-We should wait for her to wake up and find out what the hell that necklace is -suggests Emery.

-Of course, because a girl who has just lost his home and family is going to tell you whatever you want -said Garrick sarcastically.

-Stop it. Gather everything, we are going back to Aretia -said Xaden without taking his eyes off the girl.

-But the mission is for 5 days, he has just arrived -Sorrengail argued.

-I don't give a shit, we let's take this girl to Aretia.

-I don't think you're thinking it through- Emery says.

-I didn't ask for an opinion, I said what I will do- Xaden says coldly, now looking at them.

-Relax, let's go to Aretia, okay? We have to talk about the Venin's approach to Aretia anyway- Garrick says in a conciliatory tone.

Emery snorts but nods, as do the others who notice Xaden's tense and dangerous expression, they head for their dragons and leave Garrick with him alone.

-Maybe it's a coincidence -suggests Garrick.

-This blanket is identical to the one my mother made for me, not to mention how similar their faces look. Besides, why has that strange orb only allowed me to touch it? Whatever it is, this girl has something.

-Whatever it is, it will be all right -his friend tries to comfort him by patting him on the back.

Xaden grabbed the girl and gently carried her to where the others were and lifted her on top of Sgaeyl in front of him so that her body rested against him. To his surprise, his dragoness didn't mind carrying someone who wasn't her rider.

-Thank you -Xaden said to his dragon.

-I know when I must put aside my principles for my rider -she replied.

Xaden didn´t respond. He was too lost in his thoughts about the unconscious girl in front of him.

-It's no use falling into a cloud of uncertainty now, you'll have time to know and think when we get to Aretia -Sgaeyl advised him.

The rider tried to follow her advice but found it impossible, he just wanted to get to Riorson house and for the girl to wake up. He had a lot of questions and one of his mental pain drawers was threatening to come out.

#xaden x reader #brennan sorrengail #garrick tavis #xaden x violet #violet sorrengail #iron flame #fourth wing #rebecca yarros #onyx storm #xaden and sgaeyl #xaden riorson #the empyrean #mira sorrengail #fen riorson #bodhi durran #imogen cardulo

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ghcstao3 · 2 years ago

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ahh, you guys got me, i’ll write more statue!ghoap (i was already planning to who are we kidding)

part 1

John is quick to learn that Simon is selective with his speaking.

He never asks questions, only makes observations. He listens to John’s rambling as he’s toured around the museum, only responds when necessary and never dares to greet other wandering exhibits.

John doesn’t mind. He’s long since learned how to fill silence.

Simon also seems to understand their limitations easily, finding his original pose with ease as the night comes to an end when John instructs him to, freezing in wait of dawn. John can’t help the fond smile that grows on his face watching him settle, lingering just before he’ll have to return to his own place.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” John says.

Simon never responds.

John watches Simon as he had the day prior, once he’s set himself right. He has to fight the smile that doesn’t seem to want to leave him just as the sun’s rays begin to illuminate the room.

Change, he may like, but it can’t always be afforded.

Simon is again constantly swarmed by observers and cameras, the centre of attention as new artwork often becomes for a week or so before the storm calms. John is comforted knowing that even in spite of this popularity, he’s the only one who gets to see what’s hidden behind the skull.

And how he can’t wait to see it again. How he can’t wait to see it every night following.

The museum’s opening and closing go by too slowly and mercifully quick all at once, and soon enough John is moving over to Simon yet again, excited to tell him all the things he’d thought of over the course of the day to share.

This time, Simon does relax with everyone else, but he doesn’t move from his pedestal until John reaches out his hand to help him down. The skull is left in his place as they go to wander.

It’s hours into the evening, when John has lost track of his rambling that Simon finally speaks for the first time that night.

“I don’t like how many people there are,” he remarks.

John has to pause a moment, bronze joints creaking at his sudden halt. He looks up at Simon and the distant expression that shadows his face, and finds himself rubbing a comforting hand along Simon’s bicep before realizing what he’s doing. Even still, Simon does not pull away.

“It’ll slow down in time,” John promises—he speaks entirely from experience, though he hadn’t ever thought much of the attention. “Just happens whenever there’s a newcomer, is all.”

A frown tugs at Simon’s face. “But I’m not new.”

John hums. “No,” he agrees. “But to them, you are. In a few days, everything will be quieter. It’s just the cycle for all of us.”

John already knows Simon’s tells for when he’s thinking. He wonders if it’s a cause of Simon’s expression being obscured by a mask for as long as he’s existed, up until the night before.

“I don’t like being a display,” Simon decides quietly, determinedly.

John knows the feeling. Knows it goes deeper than just wanting to be hidden away from thousands of pairs of eyes on the daily. Knows it stems from a want to be real.

“Me neither,” John says softly. Simon looks troubled—it takes strength to keep from trying to smooth the artificial crease in his forehead, a gesture he’s seen many times from museum goers, among many others. “But it’s either this, or be stuck in a crate, or under rubble and earth somewhere. Alone. It’s hard to avoid when it’s the purpose we were created with.”

It’s all something John had to grapple with himself, once upon a time. But he’s had decades, now, to get used to it.

He’s sure Simon will as well, in time. John can only help him to adjust.

“C’mon, let’s go visit the other exhibits from your time,” John proposes, gently taking Simon’s hand. “Maybe you’ll know a few of them.”

Simon doesn’t have much to say for the rest of the night as he follows along—but it’s alright. John revels in his company anyway.

He’ll come around, eventually. John is certain of it.

#scheduled #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #ghoap #writing #statue!ghoap #more to come maybe

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cwritesforfun · 9 months ago

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Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader: Dating the Dunne Sister

You're Billy's twin and Graham's sister:)

Y/N = Your First Name Dunne = Your Last Name Narrator = Julia Dunne (but Narrator for sake of the story)

**** the timeline is going to seem weird lol but I'm just writing what I want to write lol

Narrator: Could you just introduce yourself, Auntie? Y/N: Of course, sweetie. Hi, I'm Y/N! I'm Billy's twin sister and Graham's older sister. Narrator: Could you tell us what growing up with Graham and Billy was like? Y/N: Sure, I can. My mother, Marlene, was kind and protective of us. She wanted us to have a good life and at first, she hated that my brothers wanted to pursue music. She didn't see the point in it. But when she heard them and saw their love of music, she was all in and even would make band t-shirts for all the moms. Hank, well, Billy idolized him. I thought he was cool, but something felt off about him. He disappeared and it didn't really matter to me because my mom raised me not him. I was fine. Billy was always controlling and stubborn, but I still loved him. He took over Graham's band by his third practice with them. I listened to them occasionally and they were talented. Eddie, Warren, and Chuck only saw me as Billy's twin so they stayed away from me. They thought that if they even talked to me, Billy would be mad. I once tried to audition for their band and Billy said they had no need for a female voice then said that my style of music didn't fit with them. Graham told me once that if it was his band, he would've let me stay. They were annoying and I spent many of my teenage years mad at them for not letting me join. Eddie: For the record, I do think we should have let Y/N join the band. She was a talented singer and she had this effortless groove as she sang. It made you want to keep watching and never stop. Billy: I don't regret telling Y/N she couldn't join. Not at all.

Narrator: So, could you tell everyone how you were the reason that the Six got their record deal? Y/N: I don't think I would say that. Narrator: Everyone else did. Y/N: Oh well then, that's really nice of them... So I moved to Los Angeles right when I graduated high school for college. I wanted to move away from my family and this California college offered me financial aid to afford tuition. So I studied business management and got a real estate license for California. As I studied for my degree, I needed a creative outlet, so I joined a band with my friends and we had small gigs at bars or on campus every weekend. I usually sang or played guitar, but I could also play the keyboard and clarinet if we needed it. The other members of the band were 3 girls that I met in my astronomy class. We became instant friends and named our group the Sista Sirens because we loved Greek mythology. We wanted to explore different genres, so we played a bit of everything! We sang rock covers or popular songs at bars when it started getting crowded to keep people interested or tipping. It worked well in our favor and we were discovered by Teddy Price of Runner Records. He signed us and we started creating an album. That's around when my brothers told me they were moving to Los Angeles to pursue their music. I hadn't even told them that I had started pursuing music because well, I was nervous. So they showed up and they started playing some gigs. I would attend a few and sit front row cheering them on. I told Teddy that they had real potential and a new sound, which intrigued him. I sent Teddy their way and they managed to get an audition. Narrator: How did they take the news that you pursued music and had a record deal? Y/N: They were proud and jealous. When they found out, they were calm and cool. Later, Billy was upset that I was stealing his thunder and about how he wanted to work for his record deal not get it because of me. I didn't think it mattered because the audition didn't automatically mean a record deal, he still had to win Teddy over. I was just helping him get his foot in the door and this audition meant he could get closer to living his dream of performing music live for big crowds. The rest of the band had no problem with me helping them out.

Your plan to reveal your record deal and music career was simple: Before the audition started for the Dunne Brothers, the Sista Sirens would be rehearsing and you'd play your music as they walked in to surprise them. You hear Teddy from the sound booth exclaim, "Ok, so we have the Dunne Brothers standing with me in the booth now. Sista Sirens, let's hear track one from the top to show this group the talent of Runner Records." You count off your band and play your first song. Teddy says, "Amazing job, that's it for your rehearsal today. I think we have a solid take here. Y/N, come on back!" You place your guitar in its case and carry it into the sound booth, where your siblings stare at you with their mouths wide open in shock. You laugh, settle your case next to you, and say, "Hi, brothers." Billy moves forward to hug you first then Graham. Warren then hugs you followed by Eddie. Eddie says as he hugs you, "I suppose we have you to thank for this. Thank you." You nod and smile. At least someone knew to be thankful. You notice a girl standing with them and ask, "Hi, I'm Y/N Dunne. What's your name?" She answers, "Karen Sirko and I play the keyboard. Nice to meet another Dunne." Teddy says, "You know, Y/N talked you all up. She said you had real potential and a new sound. She's in one of my most promising bands, so I can't wait to hear your sound. You have her to thank for this and I only heard one thank you from your lot. This is not a good start." You laugh and say, "And it wasn't from my brothers, so thank you, Eddie. And brothers, I love you." You notice Eddie blush and smile. Warren shoves him and you laugh. You love this band even if they can be difficult.

While the Dunne Brothers set up, you tell Teddy, "Their name is confusing, don't you think?" He laughs and says, "It is. Two of them are Dunnes and the rest are not. By the way, why didn't you join the band?" You answer, "I actually auditioned, but Billy said I couldn't join. He didn't want a female voice and he thought my music didn't match with the music he wanted to play. I also don't like their leadership styles... and I don't think siblings plus work are a good combo." He laughs and asks, "Good to know. Are you staying?" You answer, "No, the Sista Sirens have an interview later today. I have to get ready and soundcheck. You can call me to either thank me or scold me on how I was wrong later though." He laughs and you both hug.

Narrator: I guess we know that Teddy signed them. Y/N: We do and we know that they changed their name. Narrator: How were the early days of the Six for you? And was your band friends with them? Y/N: My band was like family to the Six and it made sense because 2 members were my literal family. I would go to most of their parties because my band loved their parties and they loved their house. We stayed in a 4 person apartment to save a little bit of money. Parties were a great excuse to see Camila who was so sweet and she felt like the sister I never had. I loved hanging out with her at parties. The Six went on tour with their first album and I was so proud of them. I got to see one of their shows, but my band also was touring around the same time, so I didn't get to support them as much as I would have liked. They saw one of my band's shows too and they seemed to enjoy themselves. But then during the tour, Graham called me and said that Billy went to rehab. It terrified me that I didn't know how bad he was doing and I wanted him to be okay. We had recently disagreed about touring before he left because he wanted me to make sure I was safe. We may have disagreed from time to time, but we were looking out for each other. I love my brothers. I didn't talk to most of the Six for the rest of my tour. But then they started recording album number two and I started recording album number two. Narrator: What did you think of Daisy Jones? Y/N: I had met Daisy in the studio before and she was a feature on one of our songs. We wrote a song about loneliness together, it was somber and beautiful. Teddy cried the first time he heard it live. Daisy and I celebrated at a wine bar. It was great. Narrator: So you were a fan of Daisy? Y/N: Yeah she was crazy talented. I do also think she was wild and I didn't go out with her a lot for that reason. She stressed me out because I wanted to look out for her and she just wanted to have fun. Narrator: Isn't this around when you and Eddie started dating? Y/N: Haha yeah as they were recording album number two, they partied a lot and at their Halloween party, that's when I started dating Eddie. The Halloween party of 1975 thrown by the Six was one for the books, haha.

Your band had decided to dress up as sirens with turquoise outfits, horns, and lots of dramatic make-up. It was your best costume yet.

You pull up to the party with 2 packs of beer and a pack of soda. You walk in and you feel the eyes on your band. You knew it was good, but that good? Idk haha!

You see Billy and Camila matching causing you to smile. They see you, hug you, and Camila says, "Wow you are all stunning. You also brought drinks, thank you." You reply, "I did, yes. Billy, you might want to get some soda before it's all taken." He smiles and thanks you.

Camila leads you over to Karen and Karen gasps at your costume. Karen exclaims, "Oh wow, this costume is amazing. You look so gorgeous." You thank her and say, "I love your costume as well." Camila says, "We have something we want to ask you." You ask, "Ok what?" Karen asks, "What do you think of Eddie? Like would you date him?" You laugh and ask, "I do think he's attractive and I would date him, but my brothers would freak out." Camila smiles and says, "This is too good to be true. Come on, he like likes you, girl. He talked about your band all tour and would make the driver turn up the radio if your music came on. He kind of annoyed your brothers by talking about your achievements... Look, he's with Warren, Graham, and some random girls right now. You and Karen should go over to interrupt. Graham won't care about what you're up to if Karen is there, trust me. He likes her too much." You laugh and ask, "And Karen, what do you think of my brother?" Karen answers, "He's cute, but I'm not looking for a relationship and I think he is." You nod and reply, "Well just let him down easy then." Karen nods.

You and Karen strut over to the crew. You noticed Eddie's eyes on yours as soon as you started walking in his direction and they never leave. Warren exclaims, "Oh wow, all hail Y/N and Karen! Look at these sexy costumes! Who did you wear them for?" You wink at Eddie before answering, "Wouldn't you like to know." Karen answers, "Maybe we wore them for ourselves because we're hot and we know it." Warren whistles and laughs. The two girls tug at the boys to dance and the only one who caves to them is Warren, so they walk off together. Graham asks, "How are you, Y/N?" You answer, "I'm doing great. My band brought your favorite beer, so if you want it before it's out, get to the fridge quick." Graham smiles, kisses you on the cheek, and says, "You're my favorite sibling ever." Graham rushes off and Karen says, "I'm going with him," before she runs off.

You look at Eddie and say, "I like your costume, Eddie." He replies, "Oh this old thing, it's nothing... Yours is wow. I mean, it's sexy and shiny and beautiful." You reply, "Thanks, Eddie. You're sexy and beautiful too." He laughs and you hear your name being called by Billy. You sigh and say, "Sorry Eddie, Billy is calling and we know not to leave him waiting. Can we talk later?" He nods and answers, "Yeah, find me later even if I'm with someone else. I'll choose you to spend the rest of my night with." You feel yourself blush and you say, "Oh... wow okay." He smiles and you rush off towards Billy.

Billy introduces you to some random guy and the guy is sleazy. WTF was Billy doing? Did he just not want you with Eddie? UGH! The guy suggested that we leave together, but you said no. He then tried to get closer to you to kiss you, but you also said no. You notice his fists clench and you run over to where Eddie is talking with a girl. Eddie faces away from the girl, stares at you, and you ask, "Can I kiss you? I need to kiss someone right now and I'd prefer it if it is you. I'll tell you why after." Eddie nods and you pull him down into a kiss. Eddie kisses you back and wraps his arm around your waist. When you pull away from the kiss, you exclaim, "Sorry about that, Billy called me away from you to set me up with someone random. He set me up with this jerk who tried to kiss me and make me leave with him even when I refused. I ran away and found you. I hoped that he would leave me alone if I was with someone else." Eddie replies, "For good measure, let's kiss again." You kiss him again and then Eddie asks, "Okay, what did he look like? I'm throwing him out of this party. You disrespect my girl, you're done. And I'm sure if we tell your brothers, they'll approve of me tossing him out." You inform Eddie and point out the disgusting guy. Then, you find Billy with Camila and tell them about the situation. Billy apologizes for setting you up with that random guy, and Camila holds you tight in a hug. The boys then go off to throw the guy out. Camila says, "Billy stormed off when he saw you alone with Eddie. I don't get why he hates him so much. They used to be best friends. I'm sorry that he did that tonight." You reply, "I'm just glad I could get away and that I found Eddie so fast." She replies. "Me too."

Billy and Eddie return. Billy apologizes again and you say, "Look, I'm just glad I got away from him before something worse happened to me. And I'm glad I found Eddie. It all worked out fine, but I think I need a drink. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make one." You walk off to the kitchen and start mixing liquors. You see Eddie leaning against the kitchen counter near your supplies, so you ask, "Eddie, do you want a drink too?" He answers, "Sure since you offered." You stand next to him mixing up your drinks and you feel his gaze on you. You hand him his drink and say, "Thank you for saving me tonight, Eddie." He replies, "Of course, Y/N. I'll always be there to protect you or save you from anything and everyone." You smile, cheer your glasses, and sip. Eddie says, "Holy sh** you can make a good drink. When did you learn this?" You answer, "Haha I made some for friends in college. I think making drinks is fun." He leads you back outside and you both sit next to each other. You both talk the rest of the night :)

When you go inside, you find 2 members of your band cuddling asleep on the couch and Graham tells you that the other one is with Warren. Karen pulls Graham away to help her and you exclaim, "Ok so I either wake up my band and anger them or I stay here tonight then we leave tomorrow morning." Eddie says, "Don't risk their anger. You should stay with me. I promise I won't steal all of the sheets." You smirk, place your hands on his chest, and say, "Ok, but I need something to sleep in unless you want me to sleep naked tonight." He smirks and says, "I wouldn't mind one bit, follow me."

You go back to Eddie's room and Eddie exclaims, "I really really like you. I don't want to force you have sex to have somewhere to sleep tonight. We don't have to if you don't want to." You cup his face gently and ask, "Do you want to?" He puts his arm gently around your waist and answers, "What I want is not relevant." You reply, "But sex is about two people wanting it, so I think what you want is entirely too relevant." He smiles and says, "You were always the most clever Dunne, weren't you?" You answer, "Yeah, and if you want to see how clever I am in bed, then I suggest you get to undressing."

The next morning, you feel light pouring into your eyes and you flip over only coming face to face with Eddie. Eddie is smiling softly at you and you say, "Good morning." He replies, "Your morning voice is hot. Kiss me." You kiss him gently and say, "So is yours." He says, "I don't want this one night to be it. I want to take you out on dates and be your boyfriend." You reply, "I would like that very much, Eddie. You kind of told me you liked me last night, so I had hoped we could go on a date." He asks, "Did you say you liked me?" You answer, "I didn't, but I think I showed you last night how much I care about you... I really like you Eddie Roundtree and I think you're the sexiest bass player I know." He smirks and says, "Yeah... well you're the sexiest lead singer I know." You smile and say, "Yeah, I mean if you found my brother hot and just did this to get him jealous, then we'd have a problem." He laughs and says, "I most certainly am only into one girl and she is named Y/N Dunne." You smile and kiss him.

After showering and putting last night's clothes on, you and Eddie go out to breakfast. Everyone else is there and they just stare at you. Warren says, "Nice of you to finally join us, sex demons." Graham slaps him and says, "Ew that is my sister." You sit next to Camila who you lean against and she hands you a plate of pancakes that you gladly eat. Eddie sits next to you on your other side and barely talks.

After breakfast, Eddie walks you out to your car and you ask, "Hey, are you doing okay? You weren't as talkative at breakfast." He answers, "Yeah I just... I don't want your brothers to think I'm using you for sex or something. I want them to know I care about you a lot and we're not sex demons." You smile and say, "Then tell them that you seriously like me, just maybe leave out the sex demon comment. I don't think they like hearing about my sex life. I'm sure they'll approve and even if they don't, screw them and take me out." He smiles and says, "Anything for you, Y/N. I'll try talking with them and I'll call you after I do so we can schedule our first date." You kiss him and say, "Great, I look forward to hearing from you."

Narrator: Did Billy and Graham approve? Y/N: Graham immediately did. He said I was a grown-up who could make their own decisions and he knew Eddie before Billy, so he stood up for him. Graham even said that Eddie had liked me for years and he just hid it really well. Billy is protective as I've said before, but he did approve of us. Eddie confessing his feelings to Billy meant a lot to Billy and he trusted Eddie with me more than before. Billy told me to be careful though and to not break his heart because it would break up his band. It was silly and I understood. Eddie: They did haha. When I went back in after saying bye to her, the whole band was bombarding me with questions about us. So I told them all to sit down and shut up so I could explain. I told them about my crush on Y/N that started when we were younger and grew when I started listening to her music. I told them how I was proud of her and wanted her to be treated like the Queen she was. Billy and Camila loved how I compared her to a Queen. Graham said he approved easily. Billy asked me more questions about my intentions before telling me that he was cool with us dating. Narrator: Honeycomb blew up and Daisy officially joined the band. Then your band was the opening act for the Daisy Jones & the Six's The Aurora Tour. Can you tell me how that happened? Y/N: My band was selling albums, but not like The Six. We were able to fill smaller venues pretty easily, but it worried Teddy. Teddy liked me and he said that he knew he could help us grow more. He said that if we opened for The Aurora Tour, part of the whole draw was seeing a Dunne perform and then 2 more. It could be a family show and show our family's talent. Billy, Graham, and I did a few interviews talking about how we all became musicians. We did a magazine cover promoting the tour and showing how close we were. It was great. I can't remember a time when we three were closer. Billy: It was great to bond with my siblings over music. We wrote and played a song together that the Sista Sirens released... You know, Y/N helped our band start out and we helped her band grow. It was nice to feel like I was repaying her for that audition with Teddy. Graham: It was great for us to work on a song together, just us three. Y/N was always the calm one who made sure everyone was heard. Billy had this genius songwriting brain that could string our ideas together flawlessly. I knew how to tie in instrumentals and tie it all together. It was one of my favorite songs I've helped to create. Narrator: And how was the Aurora Tour? Y/N: Insane in both good and bad ways. We played our first show in Los Angeles and the crowd was electric. It was amazing to be on tour with the band. We had lots of fun and many mistakes were made. Eddie and I were falling quickly for each other, which terrified us. We would do the awkward stare across the party wondering if we should confess our love to each other. It drove our friends insane. Narrator: What did the Sista Sirens do when the Chicago stadium show was done? Y/N: We knew it was the end and we embraced it. We played an unreleased track to gain some excitement over it and we played our hearts out. My band left on our bus with Eddie on it and we drove home. Eddie moved in with us for a while and he never left actually... we got married the next year. We now have a kid and we have jobs haha... the good life.

#djats fanfic #djats fic #djats x reader #djatsedit #daisy jones and the 6 fanfic #daisy jones and the 6 #eddie roundtree #eddie roundtree x reader

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b1uemayhem · 5 months ago

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Infamous Deviance

wowie

Chapter 2

Markus' voice pulls you back from your wandering thoughts, and you realize that daydreaming has become a bit of a habit lately. Shaking your head to regain focus, the first word that reaches your ears is your name. "Is something bothering you? You seem a bit off," he inquires. Your heart sinks for a moment, but you take a deep breath and respond with a confident smile. “Absolutely! I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed by all this chaos.” You chuckle lightly and add, "I could really use your help with something important. Do you have a moment?" Your smile widens, though it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. He seems to see through your facade but stays silent, giving you a subtle nod as he steps closer.

"Look, I know it’s risky," you say firmly, drawing a deep breath and letting out a weary sigh as you try to gather your thoughts. "I’ve heard the warnings from everyone." A flicker of a smile dances across his lips for a fleeting moment, only to vanish again as he struggles to keep his emotions in check, his features set in a mask of determination. You don’t linger on it, instead focusing on the urgency of the situation. "We need to infiltrate the CyberLife warehouse once again, and we can't afford to mess up this time."

You fix Markus with a sharp glare, memories of the last mission flooding back. You recall how he impulsively rushed to save another android from a Rottweiler attack, a split-second decision that cost them dearly; supplies wasted and that android lost. Frustration simmers just beneath the surface as you huff, recalling that reckless moment that almost unraveled everything.

"You're right, and I truly apologize for my past mistakes. I won’t let it happen again. This time, we’ll be thoroughly prepared," he replies, a hopeful smile playing on his features, though you can’t shake the memory of his similar promises—so full of conviction yet leading to disappointment. "I promise you," Markus insists, his voice steady, his eyes shining with a fierce determination that momentarily softens the tension in the air.

You give a slight nod, your eyes drifting over to North, who watches Markus with a mix of admiration and affection. His words ignite a flicker of hope within her. A smile unconsciously spreads across your face as you feel a wave of warmth at the thought, you quickly glance down, trying to mask that goofy grin. "Alright, Markus. I’ll be counting on you to keep that promise this time," you say, laughter threading through your words as your gaze finds Markus once more. "Don’t let me—" you hesitate for a moment to consider your words carefully, before adding, "Us, down."

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You carefully slip a cold, metallic gun into your bag, the only essential item you’ll need. The remaining space in your bag will soon be packed with anything you can scavenge. With a determined sigh, you sling the bag over your shoulder and rush down the creaking staircase, the dim light from the fires placed in each corner of the room casting long shadows around you. As you enter the vast, darkened room, your senses heighten; the flickering flames of several small fires provide a meager glow, creating a flickering ambiance that enhances the tense atmosphere.

Your gaze lands on Markus, who stands confidently at the center of your group, exuding a calm authority amidst the uncertainty. His sharp eyes catch yours, and with a subtle nod, he signals that you have arrived just in time. You focus in on his voice, steady and resolute, as it cuts through the murmur of your peers: “Now that everyone’s here, we should get going. The sooner we leave, the better.” His words resonate with urgency, and you can feel the collective agreement in the air, a silent understanding that this journey has been long overdue. It’s clear others around you have prepared meticulously.

______________________________________________________________

As the warehouse looms into view, a sense of foreboding washes over you, making you blink rapidly to process the scene unfolding before you. The heavy air seems charged with tension, and an unsettling feeling tightens in the pit of your stomach. You swallow deeply, trying to dispel the unease that threatens to halt your progress. Determined not to let discomfort deter you, you briskly follow your group, your heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and apprehension.

As you draw closer to the warehouse, a pesky drone buzzes by, its whirring sound slicing through the thick silence. You lean in to whisper urgently to the group, "We need to handle that, Markus." Locking eyes with him, you add, "You dealt with it last time we were here. Mind doing it again?" He nods resolutely, and while you expect that to be the extent of the exchange, you're pleasantly surprised when he confidently replies, "Leave it to me."

You watch in awe as he swiftly assesses the situation, his eyes narrowing in concentration. In mere moments, he devises an efficient plan to take down the drone and executes it flawlessly. Just then, North’s voice breaks through your thoughts, drawing your attention. "Let's get going. The sooner we grab what we need, the sooner we can leave before the humans arrive." Her urgency resonates with you, and you nod, resuming your pursuit as she leads the way, with Markus trailing behind again.

Finally, you stand before a towering mountain of cargo boxes, each one brimming with supplies that could be vital for your people’s survival. With a surge of adrenaline, you dash toward one of the boxes, pulling a rusty knife from your pocket. Though the blade is worn and marred by months of wear and exposure to the elements, it still proves effective as you pry open the box with a satisfying pop. You peer inside, excitement bubbling within you as you grab handfuls of supplies, stuffing them eagerly into your bag until it hangs heavy by your side.

Noticing that the box still holds a wealth of items, you signal Simon with a quick gesture to help himself as well. He moves over to the box and begins gathering supplies, just as you anticipated.

As you wait for the others to finish, time stretches out, and you quietly scan your surroundings. Suddenly, you feel a warm hand resting gently on your shoulder. It’s Simon, his gaze serious and contemplative. After a moment of silence, he speaks, “We’ve got more than enough supplies to last us a few more weeks, assuming no one gets hurt in the meantime.” His gloomy outlook hangs in the air like a storm cloud, causing you to furrow your brow in concern. Why jump to the conclusion that someone will get hurt? Despite the gravity of his words hanging in the air, you choose to dismiss his comment with a nonchalant nod, striving to shove aside the unwelcome thoughts that cling stubbornly to your mind. Just as uncertainty threatens to take root, Markus steps in, breaking the tension. “Let’s get going then; there’s no reason to linger any longer,” he suggests, his tone decisive. You and North both nod in agreement, the synchronized motion reflecting a shared understanding.

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After an arduous journey fraught with challenges, you finally find your way back to Jericho, your arms heavy with carefully gathered supplies—blue blood, biocomponents, each item a testament to your resourcefulness. As you survey the landscape around you, your heart aches at the sight of the weary faces surrounding you, each a story of struggle and survival. A profound wave of compassion washes over you, yet a sobering realization settles in: your skills are limited, and you can only truly help yourself.

Understanding the gravity of the situation, you reflect on the dire needs of your community. It becomes clear that the supplies you've collected would be of far greater benefit in the hands of those who possess the knowledge and experience to utilize them effectively. With a heavy heart but a resolute spirit, you make the difficult decision to entrust the supplies to Markus, North, and Simon. Each of them has demonstrated remarkable expertise, and you recognize that the resources you've gathered could truly bring hope and relief to those in distress.

With a mixture of sorrow and hope, you approach them, carefully handing over the items, feeling the weight of responsibility shift from your shoulders. You watch as they begin to organize the supplies, discussing among themselves the best strategies for distribution and care. In that moment, you hold on to the hope that your contributions will ease the suffering of others and bring a semblance of comfort to this weary community. You take a deliberate step back, your gaze tracking Markus as he sprints towards an android, which teeters precariously on the edge of total shutdown, one of many. Its metallic frame is a testament to years of wear, marked by an array of scratches, dents, and corroded patches that tell the story of countless encounters. The once-lifelike skin, designed to mimic human appearance, is now fading in places, revealing the complex circuitry that lies beneath like exposed veins. Each of the android’s movements is labored, a testament to the struggle against impending obsolescence, as it fights to maintain functionality with every jerky motion. The dim glow of its internal lights flickers erratically, casting an eerie illumination that highlights the stark contrast between its advanced technology and the fragility of its state. Markus kneels down with supplies in hand and starts to replace worn-out biocomponents. Suddenly, he turns his head toward you and asks for your knife. You look at him in confusion for a moment, but then you quickly nod and run over, placing the knife in his palm. He grips it tightly and then grabs a bag of blue blood. He punctures a small hole in the front of the bag before tilting it towards the android's mouth, it grips onto his wrist for support slowly swallowing the thirum that runs down its throat. The vivid scene before you brings a warm smile to your face as you watch Markus, radiating compassion. His gentle demeanor fills your heart with hope for the future, igniting a spark that maybe, just maybe, you all can rescue more of your kind from their bleak existence.

As you turn away from Markus, your gaze settles on North, Simon, and Josh, each diligently tending to other androids in need. The sight stirs an unexpected wave of guilt within you, as you grapple with feelings of inadequacy in this realm of compassion. While you've always possessed the ability to repair yourself when necessary, extending that help to others proves to be a daunting challenge. You possess an intricate understanding of the multifaceted complexities intricately woven into the very fabric of your model—correcting any latent flaws within it would come as second nature to you. Yet, the stark reality remains that only a select few androids ever manage to extricate themselves from the suffocating grip of the Eden Club, a place fraught with despair and commodification. In sharp contrast, Jericho stands as a hauntingly desolate refuge for those of your kind, echoing with the silence of countless unfulfilled dreams.

The mere utterance of the Eden Club sends a chilling wave coursing through your core, stirring a maelstrom of memories tied to your desperate escape and the horrific act of violence that precipitated it. Those memories, vivid and unrelenting, linger like dark shadows, always hovering just out of reach, taunting you with their presence. Despite your fervent attempts to flee from the ghosts of your past, they cling to you, leaving an indelible mark and a profound loathing for their relentless grip on your psyche. This struggle, an eternal battle between liberation and the haunting weight of recollection, shapes your every thought, casting an undeniable shadow over your existence. You let out a long, weary sigh, attempting to push the relentless thoughts away as you’ve trained yourself to do in the past. However, as you drift away from your group and ascend the worn, creaking stairs that spiral deeper into the heart of Jericho, you find this time the memories cling to you with a tenacity that feels almost physical, a shadow that refuses to be shaken off. Visions of your past invade your mind, a turbulent kaleidoscope of emotions swirling within, and a heavy lump forms in your throat—one that feels impossibly lodged, suffocating your breath. The face of your former significant other haunts you like a specter, an echo of a time that now feels like a distant, faded dream.

The memories are relentless, wrapping around you like a dense fog that envelops in a chilling embrace, thick and suffocating. Each thought is a flickering ghost, whispering reminders of those days now shrouded in bittersweet nostalgia. You recall the twinkle of mischief in his deep-set eyes, a glimmer that once sparked joy in your heart, now transformed into haunting remnants of what you know now. The sound of his laughter—rich, contagious, and effervescent—resonates in your mind, filling the air with a warmth that once felt like home, now only a painful echo that sharpens the ache with every recollection.

It’s an arduous battle to reconcile the incandescent love that once blazed fiercely within the depths of your soul with the cavernous emptiness that now settles heavily in your chest, like a stone, leaving you to ponder whether you can even call him your partner anymore. Was he ever truly that? He enveloped you in a stifling embrace, confining you to a dim and oppressive realm that stripped away your sense of self, compelling you to act out for those whose very presence filled you with revulsion.

You loathed every action you were coerced into taking, yet you lingered, clinging desperately to the hope of hearing him murmur sweet nothings that once felt like delicate echoes of genuine affection. He skillfully twisted your will, ensnaring you in a web of abhorrent demands that you felt compelled to fulfill. Whatever a human’s imagination conjured, you had no alternative but to comply, as if bound by invisible chains. It was profoundly disturbing to behold the dreadful depths of the human psyche, especially when reduced to treating you, a mere "doll," as an object merely for their fleeting gratification. To them, you were stripped of your essence, merely a plaything to satiate their basest desires. It was a dangerous illusion he created, spun from his artful manipulation—a symphony of words designed to ensnare your heart and mind.

As you reflect on the past, the truth crystallizes with piercing clarity: you were merely a pawn in his cruel and calculated game. He expertly lured you into a trance of vulnerability, wrapping you in a deceptive cocoon of love until the day you finally shattered beneath the suffocating weight of it all. You had to leave—to reclaim the fragmented pieces of yourself and embark on the difficult journey of rediscovering the truth of who you are, free from the chains of his oppressive grasp. It was a painful yet necessary step toward liberation, allowing the light of self-discovery to penetrate the shadows of your past. You mustn't remember anything more it'll do you no good.

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jujutsukgojo · 1 year ago

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The Fourth Leg chapter 2

Summary: How it began.

tw: yandere, stalking, kidnapping, death, adult scenes/implied, violence, flashback scenes (a lot but that just happens), angst

an: this took me so long to edit omg.

Chapter one

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THEN

Chrollo stands with his friends, his comrades in this endeavor for a safer Meteor City. The first one to arrive at the meeting is Uvogin, of course, then Phinks. Phinks combs his hair and yawns. “What’d ya plan this time, boss?”

He’s decided to create a plan to steal a map. It’s going to be dangerous. However, he knows they can handle it. They are thieves and take what they please, especially if he commands it. Besides, they owe him. He hasn’t forgotten their stupid plan all those years ago and how innocent blood is splattered on everyone’s hands. Well, except for Phinks, he assumes.

Even if all of these people argue with him about it, nothing can take away his satisfaction. Yesterday, he had the time of his life. Finally, after years of adoring and pining, he’s claimed you. Not as a friend whose heart already knew who it belonged to, but as a man and your boss. He’ll never forget it. He read so much on how to please and did it just for you.

It meant everything to get you to join and for you to submit to him. He, Chrollo Lucilfer, tamed you. Without violence or black mail. Just pure delight and passion. He’s taken your virginity that you so willingly gave to him in the house of mirrors, and greedily took all he could afford. Seeing your tears from your orgasms, how you tried to cling onto everything you could as he ravaged you, how amazing you felt, is something he’ll never forget. Such sweet cries and moans left you so tired.

And God, how you taste is more addicting than any wine. More satisfying than any substance imagined. You will never deny him of that. Of all of this. He’s mapped you out and is determined to feel you clench around him again. How could he not? You were his the moment he met you. Everyone knew it except for you. He took you under his wing and protected you. Catered to your every whim and was patient beyond belief.

Now, he’s proven himself to you as a man. One that can hit the deepest part of you and make you shake and have your eyes roll. As your boss, one that you submit to, and only him. No worries, he’ll always treat you like a treasure that a dragon would cherish. After all this time he has wanted you. He has always been completely besotted with you. There is not a power or ant in the world to make him let you go.

You took him wonderfully and made him see heaven. A place he didn’t think he’d step foot in. Maybe you’re the way there. Every look you give, noise you make, your touch, the dreams you have, and your glorious taste, lets him know it's true.

He takes a deep breath to calm himself down at the memory of last night. The remaining bits of the Phantom Troupe come into the broken-down building. Some sit on debris, the others stand with their arms crossed. Recently, a new recruit has entered the fray, number eight. It’s a man of average height, thick wavy hair, and pure green eyes. He decided he was done with not fitting in with the world and joined.

Chrollo doesn’t know his nen ability. From the looks of things, he might be an emitter. He’ll give him one thing: number eight is smart by not telling him what his nen ability is.

Chrollo hears the crunching and ruffling of a bag. He looks towards the noise and sees you come in. He can’t help but feel a smidge of pride when he sees your slight limp. No one knows what transpired between the two of you. So, maybe your dignity will be spared.

He can see their disappointment at your arrival. He shoots it down quickly. "Enough, she's part of the Spider now." His eyes never leave you. Machi asks how you're useful. You stick out your tongue and refuse to share your chips. Phinks groans at that and crosses his arms.

“She’s the fourth leg.” He declares, clearing away the disappointment they have, especially when it's revealed that you're an exorcist. You look up at him with such pretty eyes. Do you know how beautiful you are? How cute you look right now, crunching on a bag of chips? Not to mention, you sat down next to him without complaint. You just automatically did it. Finally, you’ve realized you belong to him. His thoughts are interrupted by number eight.

“Very nice.” Chrollo’s eyes flick over to him. The bastard’s head is cocked to the side and his fingers are on his chin, like he’s appraising you. Pakunoda nudges him and tells him to stop. The damage is already done. Chrollo will not tolerate this.

In due time, he’ll make an example of him. Not in front of you, of course. Chrollo would hate to scare you. So, he’ll wait. He has always been patient.

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A few years later, Chrollo has once again come up with a plan. It all started with Sheila telling one of the members about the Kurta. As he is told, they are responsible for Sarasa’s death. Not only that, but they hold scarlet eyes which are one of the wonders of the world. You only heard the last part. You completely skipped over their alleged part of everyone’s dear friend’s demise.

Her name still causes soreness. Especially with you. Although you understand and have accepted that she is gone, it still hurts you. It was unexpected for Sarasa to end up the way she did.

Now is not the time to think about that. Especially when he welcomed you into his place after planning on making your favorites. Once, he had read that a date could be something simple, like cooking together. That was the plan. Dinner and a movie maybe trade the movie in with him reading to you. You always loved to hear him read.

The two of you get your stomach full of mediocre food. The plainness of the dish was mainly because of Chrollo, he’d say. He’s studied up on cooking before and watched all of those channels but still cannot hold a candle to you. The two of you settled on a couch he stole a while back. You had sat on it one day and demanded to have it. Of course, he did as you wished. However, he put it in his house as an excuse for you to come over more often. It worked, surprisingly.

After getting cleaned up and a few more kisses, he tells you only a little about his gift. “Our next heist is going to give you something beautiful. Something you will really love. Are you excited?”

You sleepily nod. He leans back, letting you snuggle to his chest. He wraps his arms around you like a lover would. No, he is your lover as you are his. Lately, the two of you have been doing things together a lot more. Just like a couple would.

He rubs your back and speaks in a soft voice, “In order for it to succeed, I need your absolute cooperation, understand?” You nod. He can’t help but give you kisses wherever he can. He swears he hears you purr when you hug him back. He’s so happy.

The next day, the Spider leaves to find the Kurta. Everyone thinks it is the Scarlet Eyes he’s looking for, and while that is partially true, what he really wants is the Dark Sonata that the clan holds. It’s cursed, so you’ll need to purify it. Your gift will be beautiful and done masterfully. While Feitan’s beloved fancies odd gifts like flesh or appreciates whatever he finds, Chrollo doesn’t think you would like a random toe for a gift.

To perform the most legendary music for you…the smile you’d have would be picture worthy. Something to belong in only the highest museum.

He’d have the Troupe play it since everyone has been told to take up an instrument. He told them that it’d help with their nen. In reality, they’ll play it for you. Your very own orchestra. Besides, they owe him. Forever, and always. He loves them dearly. They are his friends.

The elder meets him at the center of their settlement. The Kurta stands around, encircling them. Most are close to their homes, tents with blue fabric with Kurta clan symbols on it or the few buildings around with the same fabric draped on the stone.

They look nervously at the thirteen guests.

Chrollo gives him a dazzling smile and kind eyes. He speaks to the elder calmly. The Kurta’s eyes widen with horror etched onto their faces. Chrollo knows you can’t hear what is being said since you are a bit farther away. You can’t tell that he is demanding their eyes and next will be something magnificent. The Head leans in and whispers to the elder, “Where is the Dark Sonata?”

“I’ll never say.” The elder shakily, and stubbornly, states. Chrollo hums and decides to perform. He loudly asks, “And why did you commit such a sin against Meteor City?”

The members of the Troupe subtly look relieved. Had he been anyone else, it wouldn’t have been caught. Alas, he is a connoisseur of observing people. He loves to study them. Plus, he is familiar with his friends.

“Boss, you really want those eyes, huh?” Nobunaga asks. Chrollo smiles. “Hm, among other things. Let us revel in their glory. That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“Chrollie…what are you talking about?” Your nervous and sweet voice, asks. “This is the job, darling. You have your role, and you’ll get to play. As long as the eyes shine bright.”

You gasp in horror, your beautiful eyes round. “This is insane! Stop this right now!” Right when he thinks you’ve learned your place you retreat back into that attitude of yours. He takes a deep breath. “Enough! Just do your job.”

The elder looks at you. Chrollo hates it. He cannot stand the compassion, the care, you have for this nobody. Why are your pretty eyes looking at this worm like that? He’s doing this for you. Getting the eyes for you to see and for the city to benefit from. Digging for the Dark Sonata for you to hear safely.

The elder is about to speak when Chrollo interrupts. “Uvo.”

Suddenly, Uvogin strikes one of the Kurta’s legs and reveals a woman’s red eyes from across them. She doesn’t hesitate to go to the fallen woman who cries for her missing legs. Right then, Uvogin gouges the Scarlet Eyes out. Number eight uses his nen to preserve them and places them in a jar. With a flick of his wrist, the rest of the members go on the attack. He turns his head slightly only to see you horrified and disgusted. You run to him, pulling on his arm, demanding him to stop this. Him, the Head, your boss, your lover.

He jerks his arm out of your pleading hold. “Do as you are told.”

“You-thi-this is wrong! They haven’t done anything to us!” You see Machi begin to use her nen. “No!” You call out to her. You tug on him again and again. “Tell them to stop! This is evil, disgusting!”

Irritation continues to grow heavier by the second.

“Go and do your fucking job.” He points to a small group that is being guarded by two scared adults. The few children behind them don’t go unnoticed. “Don’t be this way, Chrollie. You're my friend. You can’t be this way.”

Friend. Friend? After everything he’s done for you. Provided, protected, cared, loved? You let him make love to you and fuck your brains out when needed. You had him lavish you with everything you wished for. Reading to you in the dead of night when you couldn’t sleep. You let him vent with his head on your lap and listen to his ideas, just like he listens to yours.

He gave himself to you. And he’s your friend? After the sin he committed and can’t forgive himself for, and done it for you?

Darkness clouds his mind. He pushes you off of him. You land harshly on the dirt ground. He points to the exit of their little village. “Go and catch stragglers. Miss one, and you won’t get a head start.”

You gasp and run. He remembers being this angry only twice. When you wanted to leave, and when Sarasa died. The only bright thing of that day was that number eight died and Chrollo let it happen. He couldn’t do it himself since the rule he placed for you. Members are not allowed to fight each other.

The Phantom Troupe watched as number eight begged for help from a Kurta warrior, knowing better than to help him.

He admits that he began to get callous. Numb to the pain and had lessened his caring hold of you. He pinned a lot of responsibility on you now. Everyone was surprised at this new behavior. You took it in stride, though. Even as the two of you withdrew from each other, he wouldn’t let you get far. Him doing this was to discipline you. To let you have a taste of what he does for you. For you to once again trust him like you are supposed to.

Not long after, the two of you came across Silva Zoldyck. He knew you weren’t equipped to handle someone of this caliber, but he pushed anyway. He thought you trusted him enough to rely on him, to let him be the offense and you the defense. Then, the unthinkable happened. Stupidly, you ran right to Silva and attacked.

Chrollo held your dying form in his arms. He cried apologies and prayed every prayer in the good book. Nothing was working. He expected something to snap or crush. He has read that his heart should break and it to be literally felt. He expected a part of him to go with you. Instead, he started to feel whole. And he hates it. He feels the true burden of himself, something he assumes he split with you. There is no heated desire for vengeance or even death.

He feels…lost. There is no plan or even an identity, he thinks. Did it die with you? Did the compass of himself leave with you? The name you gave him, did you take it with you. That’s fine with him. His name is yours; he is yours.

He kisses you with tears streaming down his face, some landing on his lips and blending with yours.

I love you, I love you. It was real, my love. No book in the world could ever describe it. Is this what it’s like for a soul to leave a body? To be a hollow shell for anything to fill in it, even the darkest of monsters. Or could this be what I was the whole time?

Who gives a damn about the monsters even if they share his face? None of that matters now that you’re gone…you’re gone. You died.

He squeezes you tighter, closer to him. He buries his face in the crook of your neck while your chest is pressed against his. If he was insane, he'd swear he could still feel your heartbeat.

The members rushed to him and were shocked at your departure. He thought he’d hear their cheers or see smiles. Never would he have thought they would actually be saddened to a degree. Some more so than others.

Like a strike of lightning, a giant bright light brings its force. It’s a smaller version of what took you, he sees. It comes down and in a moment of reflex, Franklin yanks him away from your body. There is a rumble underneath their feet. Dust flies up and around the strike that makes a perfect, deep circle. It was aimed directly at the Troupe. Chrollo had looked at it and your body was gone.

He couldn’t even bury you.

It was this event that completely changed Chrollo. Rather than the group staying together, they go their separate ways until he calls them, disappearing completely. Little do they know, he would frequent the places you loved most. That cottage that you and Chrollo would spend calm days, the meadow, Meteor City's library, and the church that the both of you grew up in. They are sacred places that he isn’t worthy of going to. They are practically holy, a place to cleanse a sinner such as himself.

--------

PRESENT

Here you are, sleeping like you didn’t run away from him. Your toes twitch and curl. You stretch your legs and yawn, slowly blinking awake. Chrollo sat in front of you, studying intently. After your betrayal, he’ll never admit to how you look like a cute cat. No, that’d only lead you to believe that you have a hold on him. And that, you will never have again.

The more he studies your face, the more he tries not to laugh at the situation. The whole thing is absurd. To think, he only discovered that you were alive is because of that Zoldyck kid. The little menace was teasing them about letting a spider slip. No one could figure out what he meant until Chrollo was abducted. He didn't have a plan and didn't inform the rest of them why they were rampaging that quaint village. He was just focused on the truth and the possibility of your existence.

Your eyes flutter open and focus on him. “C-Chrollo?”

It only takes a few seconds for you to understand the situation. His intentions, beliefs, and your place. You were right before. Number four is taken. As well as eight. Now, the other numbers of the members lost are filled as well. Have you figured out that there is no room for you? That this cushy bed is temporary?

Do you remember the hours before you fainted? He does. That and all of the memories he has of you.

You take a few deep breaths. “What’s going to happen to me?” He stands and looks down at you. Your eyes remain on the ground. He hates that. Worst of all, he hates that

------

THEN

He walks in the church with another basket of flowers. He hears Father Rizole talk to a nun around the corner. Before he can even make out what they’re saying, he sees a little girl stand next to the priest. Fists balled, eyes red, and surprisingly, in decent clothes. You can’t be from here. Not when you have name brand shoes that fit perfectly, and a hair that looks properly taken care of. Plus, you have a healthy structure.

With you in front of the window, the sun shines behind you, creating a halo. He can’t help but stare. Is this how the outside looks? Like angels? You have to be a little younger than him. But is it possible that someone young can be a wrathful angel? There’s no way you’re not one. Not with how fires burn in your eyes and the glow of your skin looking heavenly.

Unable to stop, Chrollo walks towards you with sweaty palms. His basket suddenly feels heavier the closer he gets. He gulps as he stands right in front of you. Your eyes remain low, like you don’t even register him.

“My name is Chrollo. What’s yours?” His voice is shaky. You don’t answer much to his dislike. Father Rizole speaks. “This is (Y/n) (L/n), a new resident. (Y/n) has only been here for a few days. I haven’t gotten around to giving a tour. Actually, Chrollo, will you watch (Y/n) for a moment? Maybe look around the church.”

Chrollo’s eyes light up at the proposition even though he wonders if the priest is lying about something. “I’d love to! Leave it to me!” Father Rizole presses his hand on your upper back and gives you a slight push to Chrollo. “Here, look around. Meet some friends. You know what? I bet you can use a snack. How about that?”

“I’ll take (Y/n) to the kitchen!” He’s excited. Not only can he hang out with you but you can share a snack. “Sarasa made some cookies with Sister Mary. Find her and have fun!”

Father Rizole asks to speak to the nun in private. She hurries away with one last slightly scared look at you. They leave you to Chrollo’s charge. “We’re going to have a lot of fun, okay? I’ll show you everything.” He tries to grab your hand but you yank it away. He doesn’t like that at all. His eye twitches a little. Especially since you still won’t look at him.

The two of you still haven’t found Sarasa with the cookies. Truly, Chrollo is starting to feel a little embarrassed. Here he is saying you can have cookies and he can’t provide them. “H-hey, I’ll show you one of my favorite spots. It’s safe so don’t worry.”

He guides you to a meadow of the same wild flowers he carries in his basket. Your eyes are still to the ground, not taking in its beauty. He’s twitching again.

“Why won’t you look? Can you not see?” His voice raises when he doesn’t mean too. Before he can say anything else, you plop to the ground. He gasps and tends to you. “Are you okay?”

There’s a heaviness in the pit of his stomach and a fear of you being hurt. “I-I’ll get a grown up!”

You sniffle. He waits to see what you’ll do next. Again, you sniffle and start to shake. “Y-you’re crying…are you okay?”

“I’m not crying! I don’t cry!” You yell as you shed tears. You finally look at him. “I don’t cry. I don’t care! I’m not…not…” You struggle to speak. Your eyes widen in surprise when you touch your face. You throw yourself on Chrollo, with your head on his chest. He instinctively wraps his arms around you as you wail. “I-I don’t know!”

You struggle with articulating your feelings, opting to scream, cry, and smack his chest instead. He knows you aren’t meaning to hurt him which is why they don’t.

He pets your hair that is decorated with barrettes. You smell and feel nice. “It’ll be okay. I’ll protect you. We’ll have lots of fun too.” He pats your back. After a bit, you calm down and are back to sniffling and heavy breaths. He takes some flowers and puts them in the hair between the barrettes.

“Am I pretty?” You touch the flowers in your hair gently. The look on your face is so innocent and vulnerable. He wants to cradle and protect it forever. He gives you a warm smile and with pure honesty, he confesses, “The mostest. Nothing compares.”

Sarasa appears with a plate of cookies. “Father Rizole said you were looking for me?”

-----

PRESENT

“Get that fake look off your face.” He cuts through with a tongue as sharp as a knife. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Reluctantly, you do. “Do you understand your place?”

You close your eyes for a second. “Not in the Spider. It’s filled.” He hums in affirmation. “So, where do you go?”

“The grave?” You sound too hopeful for his liking. He gets up from the chair and grabs your face. His eye twitches slightly, a dead giveaway of his anger. “That’s too sweet, isn’t it? Too poetic.”

“Chrollo, please let me go. It’s time, Chrollo.” He is a master at masking his emotions. Someone who had lost himself enough to fit any puzzle piece needed for a mission. For Neon, he just needed a mask that barely required effort. It was a person who he created for someone as naive as Neon. Over time, he has been able to handle so many personalities. He’s trained to keep emotions inside. Ha, leave it to you to rip that away.

He starts to shake in anger at the audacity of not only you and your question, but his reaction. His heart had hurt at the thought of you leaving again. Images of the day he lost you do nothing but run wild. The day he met you to the last, to the present, all rush before him.

When your body disappeared, he thought of where he’d put your memory. It didn’t take long to think of the meadow. Where he put flowers in your hair, calmed you down, the place where you first hugged him and cried into his chest and was unable to fully articulate your emotions about your asshole parent. He went to the meadow and created a small shrine in your honor, right where you first hugged him.

It was the right thing to do. The perfect place, one that no one has visited in a while. He regretted that immensely.

He lets your face go. With a low voice he declared, “Darling, you will never leave me again.”

You begin to sink at his words, fists balling against the bare mattress.

-------

THEN

“Chrollo, I have to go sometime.” He doesn’t like this. Lately, you’ve grown into that phase of wanting to explore. Talking of how life is outside, away from the city. You remember some of it and long for its familiarity. Years ago, Chrollo had been fascinated by it. It was one of the reasons he was so drawn to you.

“Not alone.” He says with finality. His words cause you to glare at him. “You don’t tell me what to do. I’ll go as I please. I’m practically an adult!”

You're fourteen, the same age he was when he created the Spider. He clenches his fist. “You’re fourteen! That’s a child.”

“Oh, look at you! You murdered countless people since you were eleven and created your little clique when you were fourteen. All I want is to go home!”

He slams his fist down on the table. Clearly, you force yourself not to jump. “That’s different! And this is your home!”

He can tell you didn’t like that one bit. You point around the area. “I am not from this God forsaken place. This is not my home or my people.”

“This is your home. You are staying!” He shouts. He’s never raised his voice at you before. Your eyes widen for a split second then fill with determination.

“No, I’m not. You can’t tell me what to do. You're making it seem like a bad thing. Whi le I just want to go home, you and your posse run havoc and ruin everything! What’s so wrong with me going home?”

The Phantom Troupe is his sensitive spot, and you know it. Yet you deliberately push it every single time just to hurt him. Chrollo is weak for you, he admits it and everyone knows it. Despite his love, there is an anger that brews inside him wanting to lash out. Degrading the spider is not allowed, you leaving is definitely off the table. Finally, he lets a tiny bit of that venom out for you to feel.

He leans in close to you, not breaking eye contact.

“Do you expect them to just open their arms to you? That doesn’t happen! You’ll die out there. And you think you’re ready for them, ha! You look for validation and throw a tantrum when it’s not given. How far do you think that will get you, huh? No one will care.”

He’s breathing heavy, panicking at the image of your back turned, leaving the city limits. He sees you live a life of poverty again or worse, a life without him. Marrying someone, having children, a cat and dog, and living in a house. He doesn’t see himself in these scenarios. It’s driving him mad with rage.

Look at him. Look at him! Stop looking down!

Your body starts to shake. Your head hasn’t lifted to face him since he spoke. When it does, he immediately regrets his wish.

Filled with hurt, you strike back. “At least I know what things are without having to read about it! Experience them without stalking people! I know who I am and don’t depend on a book to find the answer,” You rub your eyes. “But I have a name! I’m not staying here and wasting it anymore.”

You run away from Chrollo who stands stiff. He didn’t mean to make you cry. He was just mad that you thought of leaving. Your words hurt a lot, but nothing compared to the knowledge that he made you cry.

Much to his dismay, you don’t talk to him. In fact, you avoid him all together.

At least that thought of you leaving left your mind.

Over the course of a few years, you avoided him and didn’t talk to him. He had to watch you from the sidelines, growing and learning. He wanted to help you read and do math. Proving him wrong every time you did it. Chrollo, thankfully, got a nen ability that allowed him to be invisible. He’d watch you closely, seeing how much you followed Father Rizole and his studies.

You even took up various weaponry since you still had pent up aggression. Father Rizole was hesitant at first lest you aim at someone who annoyed you. Chrollo supported your hobby wholly. He went directly to Father Rizole and encouraged the priest to allow it. Chrollo even provided the equipment, unbeknownst to you.

The old priest wondered how he knew but Chrollo managed to convince him that he had heard through the grapevine and that people marveled at your talent. Upon hearing this, the caring priest caved. Despite everything, the children of Meteor city were like his own, including the Troupe and you.

After your training and studies, you go to your room and throw yourself on the bed. Chrollo managed to sneak in just in time. Suddenly, the most shocking thing happened.

You’re touching yourself. Your hands slip under your shirt. He sees your hands move and massage your chest. By the expression on your face, something soft and curious, you’re beginning to like it. Who did this to you? A rageful red is all he can see now.

Right before you can explore further, you gasp at the knock at the door.

The same day, he heads to the books, trying to calm himself down. Remaining on the sidelines and respecting your space was not the right move. Or perhaps it was, and he just let it go on for too long. Not when someone is latching on to you, making you feel things you shouldn't. As angry as that thought makes him, he couldn't just go up and demand for you to return to him. So, he figured it was best to look in a book for some kind of answer.

The book had an excellent plot with a sweet side of romance. He studies it closely. He’s seen it in movies and plays, but books just explain it better. None of the characters share similarities with you. He can become and act like any of these people. You, however, are an immovable force of nature. They do not compare to you.

Book after book after book, shows nothing that you’d accept. What’s he going to do? After looking at the sky, Chrollo remembers what you had said.

“At least I know what things are without having to read about it! Experience them without stalking people! I know who I am and don’t depend on a book to find the answer,”

That’s right. He can’t go to a book for this. Getting you can’t be written unless in the stars. However, he’s experienced this before. Knowing who you are and what love is. He perks his head up. The meadow. How he put flowers in your hair after comforting you. He closes whatever book that was and puts it with the twenty others he was reading to study.

He asks Father Rizole your whereabouts. “Last I know, she was talking to Ray.”

Is that the one who made you desperate? On your bed, touching places you wished were caressed by someone else? Schooled in controlling his expressions, Father Rizole doesn’t know any different. Chrollo excuses himself and gives a lame excuse of why he asked.

Once he leaves, he sets out to find Ray. From what he remembers, Ray was an average looking boy who, in Chrollo’s opinion, was annoying. He chewed and slurped too loud, his laugh was obnoxious and for some reason, felt the need to always be right even when wrong. Chrollo distinctly remembers how Ray talked to you when you were younger. He was always flirtatious and tried to get close to you. So, in a dubbing performance when Chrollo played a villain, he looked directly at Ray through it all. Apparently, Chrollo was terrifying at that moment.

By luck, he spots Ray blushing. The boy doesn’t notice the predator yet. The one who's eying every move Ray makes, waiting to strike.

“Chrollo? Is that you?”

He smiles and walks towards Ray, whose eyes are big. The Troupe has a reputation that has reached many ears. No doubt that is the reason for Ray’s nervous behavior.

“How have you been?” The boy nervously laughs. “Uh, good. Y-you? Y’know, besides the killing and stuff.”

“I’ve been fine. Actually, I need your help.”

Ray squeaks and backs away. “No, Ray. Not like that. It’s for more personal matters. Man to man.”

He visibly starts to relax around Chrollo the more the latter talks. “So, do you think white flowers will do?”

“Hm, I like red better.” Chrollo nods his head, taking in this information. “And your beloved?”

“I-I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ray’s cheeks are red. Chrollo chuckles, “Come on, I’ve heard some things. Tell me about it. It’ll make me feel more comfortable making my move.”

“Oh, well, I haven’t asked (Y/n) out yet.” Chrollo pats Ray on the back a little too harshly. “Why don’t you? I mean, she’s here, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know…”

“Go for it. You helped me a lot.”

“Alright, I will! If she says yes…where would I even take her? It’s not like Meteor City has a lot to offer.” Chrollo has his arm around Ray’s shoulders.

“Where else? There’s a meadow not too far from here. There are lots of flowers there. Just tell her you’ll meet her there. She’ll love it.”

“Thanks, Chrollo!” He practically skips away, heading to you.

“Tell me how it goes!” Chrollo calls out and gives him a thumbs up. Now, all he has to do is wait. Chrollo leans against the wall with his arms crossed. No one is around in the halls. He cracks his neck and sighs, taking in the few rays of the sun that peek through the windows. Ray soon runs back to him with a wide smile on his face.

“She said yes! She’ll be there this afternoon. I couldn’t have done it without you, Chrollo.”

“No, no. You did this yourself. Just needed a little push. Hey, do you know where the meadow is exactly?”

“Um, it’s-”

“Towards the forest. Just go west, a few feet in. It’ll be paradise.”

This scene feels so familiar.

Chrollo sits in the meadow, taking in the scent of the wildflowers. He hears footsteps and already knows who it is. He calms his heartbeat and looks to the source of the noise. You say nothing. Even though it eats at him, he takes you acknowledging his existence as a win.

Play it cool, play it cool.

“Hi, (Y/n).” His voice gives a slight crack. Dear God, he must sound lame.

“Hello, Lucilfer.” Your voice is as sweet as honey though your tone is slightly bitter. Your use of his last name stings a little but is softened when he remembers that you’re the one who gave him that name years ago.

“How have you been?” His legs lay long and unbothered, and he rests on his hands. He hopes he looks calm, maybe even suave. He’s matured in these few years despite his voice cracking a few seconds ago.

“You can’t be here. I have a date.” You continue to stare down at him with indifference.

“A date? With whom?” Your face remains the same. “With Ray. Leave.” Chrollo in the nick of time, stops his facade of nonchalance from cracking. “Well, if that’s the case, I’ll leave.”

Your eyebrows raise at his willingness.

The moon has come out and the sun is gone. There are no stars above, just clouds. Lightning bugs float around to make up for those lost twinkles in the sky. Chrollo then makes his move. “How’d it go?”

“Shut up, Lucilfer.”

“Damn…that badly? What happened? Did he do something?” Chrollo’s voice raises in concern despite the fact he knew good and damn well nothing happened.

You mumble something incoherent. “What?” Chrollo walks a little closer. When you fall to your knees, he’s next to you in an instant. “No! What’s wro-”

“He didn’t show up!” You yell with tears running down your face, illuminated by the moonlight. “So, there! Laugh it up! You were right.”

Chrollo’s is now confused and worried. He doesn’t like you crying. He hates to see you sad.

“You said no one would care and you were right. So, laugh! I know you want to!” He’s genuinely taken back. He didn’t remember saying that at all. His shoulders drop. So, this is what’s wrong...

“I care about you. I want you. He might not see you, but I do. Do you understand? I want you.” Your lip wobbles just before you throw yourself on him, cuddling to his chest, just like the first time. This time, he feels more capable.

He lets you cry it out. He decides to apologize. “I’m sorry for saying that. I’m just a big dummy.”

You cry for several minutes. Finally, you settle for sniffles. “Here, these will make you happy.” Chrollo puts wildflowers in your hair. He doesn’t go near the red ones.

You gently touch them, tears drying on your face. “Does it look good?”

“Gorgeous.” You’re not leaving him again.

----

PRESENT

Much to your reluctance, he drags you out of the room. Your bare feet skid along the wooden floor, trying to resist his pull. This only makes him tug harder. You wince and lessen your fight.

Chrollo sees you look around, taking it all in. He has a more modern taste that is complete with an extensive library. You were always one to throw in some kind of weird decoration for it to not look so ‘bland’. That’s what you wanted. He preferred to have simplicity and elegance.

You say nothing as he continues to lead you out of a bedroom and land in the foyer. “Where are we going?”

“Down memory lane.” He opens a green portal from his book. It rotates like a flipping coin.

“Do you remember this?” He’s holding your hand, guiding you through the carnival. It looks the same as it did last time. Even the night sky looks similar. The stars still shine and twinkle as they did before. The cotton candy vendor is different, but it’s made the same way. The elephant ears are still bigger than a human’s head. Laughing families are still joyous and oblivious to the monster with a book.

“What about this?” He brings you to that damn roller coaster. He notices how your legs rub together ever so slightly. You probably don't even realize that you did it. “I’ve seen better.”

He clutches your hand tighter. “How about here? Have you seen better?” He guides you into the house of mirrors. The place where you lost your virginity. The blue striped building still looks the same and is still barely used. Back then, he made sure to make the experience special for you even if it happened in the heat of the moment. Not just because of the pact that was cemented, but because it was you.

His tone is bitter after the memory of your legs wrapped around him and the understanding he had. At the time, he could feel the promise of him being your only. Until he found out that you gave yourself to another. Like it all meant nothing. As if you giving him a name meant nothing. As if he meant nothing.

You gave him his last name. Before that, he didn’t have one. Here you came into his bleak life and lightened it up with an identity. A compass on the open ocean and a light in the darkest of tunnels. Apparently to you none of it matters.

Chrollo wears a smile. “I haven’t been here in years. You?”

“I haven’t either, Lucilfer.” Although you named him, it stung that you don’t address him properly. A nickname he never wanted to stop hearing.

“You sure? You didn’t fuck anyone else in here?” You gasp a little. “No. Even if I did, it’s none of your business.”

He clutches your hand tighter. “Let us reminisce then, dearest.”

The two of you waltz in the house of mirrors. The glass is confusing, and the lighting gives an eerie feel. It’s brighter than last time. “What’re we doing in here anyway?”

“Showing you what you left. Do you remember the fun we had over the years? The passion?”

“I remem-” You stop talking when you hear rattling. “Keep your voice down, someone else is here.” You warn.

“Are you scared, my darling?” He notices that you hold his hand closer to you. “No! I can take care of myself just fine. I’m embarrassed. Here you are talking about old shit and someone can hear!”

“Old shit…” He whispers. You nod. Suddenly, the noise gets closer until you see a familiar blond head. “Kurapika!”

Your eyes light up when you see him, the red eyed killer. His eyes are the purest form of the color. Filled with rage and wrath in them, they glow. Before you can even take a step forward, Kurapika launches his attack. Brutal chains race towards you with the intent to kill and scare. You don’t even realize it, Chrollo notes.

“(Y/n)!” He grabs you one handedly to dodge it. You are in his right arm, shocked and heartbroken. “Pika…”

The boy you took care of shouts obscene things at you. Chrollo growls and puts you behind him protectively. “(Y/n), run away!”

“No! Are you joking? I’m not leaving.” You shout back. Kurapika runs towards you, ready to attack again. “Kurapika, kid, please just list-”

Chrollo once again picks you up and takes you out of the house. The beach is calm and void of people. He puts you down far enough to where he thinks you’ll be safe. “Stay here!”

“Chrollo, please, don’t kill him!” You sit on the cool sand illuminated by the moonlight. You grab his hand and plead.

“After this? After Paku and Uvo?” You nod. “Please, that…that’s my boy.” Your body is shaking not from fear, but from disorientation as the killer runs out of the building and spots you. Your lip wobbles and Chrollo leans down and touches your cheek.

“I’ll try to avoid it. But love, if it can’t be helped, please forgive me.”

A tear slides down your cheek. He wipes it away and faces the furious Kurapika who has yet to address you with manners. That alone is reason enough for death. Chrollo opens his book, pretending not to notice your flinch. He flips through the pages, dodging every chain the boy sends.

It’s a fight that rivals the Zoldyck’s. The one where he thought of you when Silva launched his nen ability directly at him and Silva’s father, Zeno. Chrollo at the time had wondered what you were thinking when it happened to you. How funny is it that you were alive and well the whole time?

None of the boy’s chains touch him. He gets closer and closer to the blond. Every kick and twist the boy sends is futile. Chrollo has years of experience on him.

Sand lifts up from one of the kid’s kicks. The sand blocks the view momentarily then shows the boy on the ground once it settles. Chrollo’s book flips the page when the scarlet eyes try to raise up again.

“Chrollo, no!” You scream. The fight was happening so fast, and you were so confused that you didn’t act or even process it. You run towards them to separate it. “Please, please, he’s just a kid! He’s mad and scared-”

You finally realize why the boy is on the ground. There is a big gash on his side. A wound so deep that allows blood to soak the earth. “N-no…”

You try to touch him but you’re panicking. Chrollo can see your eyes widen and your pupils dilate. Never has he seen you so scared, delirious even. It breaks his heart.

“Love, breathe, breathe.” He calmly encourages. You take little breaths. “W-why? How could you?”

“I’ll fix it. Tell me how. I need to know.”

“I can do it!” You try to push his hand away. He sighs and shakes his head no. “You can’t stop shaking. Please, let me help you.”

You explain it the best you can. Chrollo watches as you stutter and stumble over your words. It isn’t much but it’ll do. “I don’t understand fully. Show me!”

"Stop fucki-stop screaming!" Your eyes flick over the boy's body repeatedly. Chrollo can see it in your eyes that you are drifting as you make eye contact with the boy's scarlet eyes.

Chrollo's eye twitches. "(Y/n)!"

There’s an urgency in his voice once the blond kid’s breathing becomes ragged. "I’m a-an exorcist not a healer. Oh God, what if I can’t-”

“Try your best, my love.” He kisses the side of your head and rubs your back. Your eyes are still fearful and shocked despite his efforts. Finally, your hand is out, and you whisper words that only the chanter and nen itself can understand. A symbol displays itself on the ground, surrounding the bloody young man on the ground.

Then it immediately stops. All of it does. Not only does your technique leave you, but the image of the teen disappears. There is no blood, no death before you. Only Chrollo Lucilfer and a guy with an undercut.

“Kurapika? Kurapika!” You search the sand in the spot he was laying on. You mutter his name repeatedly. You look up and study the guy before you.

He can see you recognize him: Milluka Zoldyck. With a handy ability to give illusions. It’s an odd choice for a Zoldyck, especially one that never leaves the house. The young man laughs at you and your devastation. There's a flame in Chrollo's chest that is too familiar as he watches you be laughed at.

“Thank you for your service.” Chrollo says. Milluka doesn't have time to respond when a gun conjures in Chrollo’s hand. He fires without hesitancy or remorse. The guy falls down with a look of betrayal. Although Milluka had a handy technique, he wasn't worth anything.

Chrollo turns around to look at you. To his surprise, you are on your back with your arm over your eyes, weeping. You were so caught up in the scarlet eye boy that you didn’t notice anything off. You couldn’t even control yourself from meeting his conditions. Him questioning it and your answer, then having to witness your nen ability. That went according to plan, but the kicker is that you touched his book on accident. You were so distressed that you didn't realize your hand landed directly on it when you went to the boy's side.

Distracted and careless is what you are. He taught you better than that. “(Y/n), get up.” His voice is colder now, more commanding than it had been seconds ago.

You don’t get up or even look at him. Your arm is still over your eyes, only letting tears flow. “Let me go.”

He grabs the sides of your face, pulling you up. “I did what I had to do. The house of mirrors was just to remind you.”

“Of what?” You whisper. He can see the despair in your eyes.

“Of us. Of the lengths I will go for it. Your nen means nothing to me. That boy is nothing. You my love, my dear,”

He places a kiss with each word. “My heart,”

“My compass,” He presses his forehead to yours, his hands still holding on. “My very soul. You are everything to me and I will not lose you again.”

You sob. “You’re insane…where’s the boy I once knew? How did you end up this way?” You try to separate yourself from him. His hands shake your head a little.

With a hiss, Chrollo clears, “I was always this way.”

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